Welcome Home Mongo

Ok, I may be the worst blogger EVER!!!  I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged.

This month makes our countdown officially 4 months on the Ethiopia waiting list.  At times it seems like it hasgone fast, and at many other times it seems like time is standing still!!  We can't wait for our child to come home. I had a friend ask me if we thought our child will be home for Christmas next year...Oh my, I hope so!!!  I don't know how much longer I can wait.  :)  Matt and I have started collecting books and toys and such.  But plan to start getting some bigger purchase items after the holidays.

For Christmas, Baby Fuller received "I'll Love You Forever" from his/her Fuller grandparents with a super sweet note waiting for him or her when they come home.  Grandma Fuller also does a lot of beautiful embroidery work.  Both Kaden and Cooper have a blanket with their names embroidered on it from them.  Well, Baby Fuller received the same blanket for Christmas and once we know who our child is, Grandma will get their blanket embroidered so it's ready for them to come home too.  I can't wait!

We made a super quick trip home this weekend for Christmas.  We spent Saturday with my family, but unfortunately my brother was sick and unable to make it.  However my Grandparents, who I haven't seen in a long time were able to make the trip to spend Christmas with us.  It was so great to see them and catch up.  We spent the day cooking, playing games, and staying up way too late playing pitch.  We went to church for Christmas Eve service and I was able to catch up with lots of friends~SO FUN!!  For Christmas this year, my family decided not to exchange gifts.  Instead we pooled our money and we're all going to the Cotton Bowl in January!!  We can't wait.  We'll get to spend 3 days together and hopefully get to see some more family while we're in Dallas.  And of course, we'll be cheering really loudly for the cats so look for us on TV!!

We spent Sunday with the Fullers.  Christmas is definitely fun for us adults, but I have to say that my favorite part is watching my nephews rip through their presents!!  Their present highlights for Christmas were play drills, which actually work from grandma and grandpa and their gift from their aunt and uncle~of course.  We found them what looks like a miniature motorcycle.  The boys definitely will need to work on their balance a little, but they had the hang of them by the end of the day.  Again, Matt and I were so spoiled for Christmas, but we love it.  :)  A favorite included Matt's cleaned, restuffed, and revitalized Mongo from his mom.  Mongo is a white monkey and was one of Matt's favorite stuffed animals growing up.  Well, at some point it became a favorite buddy to the Fuller's dog, Casey.  Unfortunately Casey passed away a few years ago, but Kim wanted to give Mongo back to his original owner.  I think a highlight for the Fuller Christmas was watching Matt unwrap his beloved Mongo!  When we got home I asked Matt where he wanted to put Mongo.  So Mongo is now waiting in Baby's room anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new family member.  Seriously though, I wouldn't be surprised if Mongo makes the trip to Ethiopia with us.  Welcome back to the family, Mongo :)      

Ok, so I promise that I will TRY to be a better blogger but no guarantees!  Just know that we are constantly praying for our sweet child and in awe to know that they are probably already alive and in an orphanage right now.  What a wild thought!!  Jesus, please be protecting our family in this moment even though they are half a world away.  My prayer is that we will meet soon, but trusting in God's timing.  I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be the best year yet :)  Love you friends

Preparing for Baby :)

Matt and I have spent a lot of time on the road lately and it seems that the conversation often leads to baby.  There is a lot to think about!!!  One of the most fun topics is baby names.  We're pretty sure we've decided on a girl name, but we are struggling more trying to agree on a boy's name.  I happen to think that the meaning of a person's name is just as important as liking the name itself.  However, I am struggling because some of the names that are at the top of our list come up as "origin not known" when researched.  I may have to get over this meaning stuff OR we may have to keep searching!!!  At least it's a fun time spender :)

We've also started talking about all the stuff we'll need.  I would love to be able to go ahead and start looking for furniture and some of those bigger purchases, but we don't know how old our child will be when they come home yet.  So that makes shopping a little bit harder.  For those of you who know me though...that fact hasn't completely stopped me from shopping ;)  Shocking, I know!!!

I do have aspirations to make our baby's bedding--we'll see what happens.  I did pick up my first project the other day.  It is more of a patched blanket.  I can't wait to start on it!  If this project goes well, then I'll move on to the bedding project.    

Fall is Coming

Wow, it's been awhile!! Where did the summer go??!! We have been busy. Most recently, we went on vacation to Arches, Bryce Canyon, and Zion National Parks. This was an extra special vacation because my brother was able to go with us. Our vacations almost always end up being physically intense and this one was no different. In total we hiked almost 60 miles, gaining at least 5,000 feet in elevation, and some of the hiking was in a river. Hard work, but oh so much fun!!! There's something very renewing about being able to get outside and see some beautiful country. We were all physically exhausted by the end but ready to go back to the real world with a renewed sense of mind.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was hiking the Zion Narrows. Hiking the Narrows was definitely on my Bucket List~now I can check that off. Basically, you hike up river in Zion Canyon. When you start out, the canyon is wider and you can find dry land to walk on. But soon, the canyon narrows forcing you to fight the currents to get upstream. In most places you and walking in about a couple feet of water, but there are places where you have to swim!!! It was SO much fun! A little intimidating though to look up as the canyon narrows and know that there is no way out except to keep going. We guess that we only spent about 6 miles in the canyon, but you can start from the top of the canyon and work all the way down~about 18 miles. Maybe next time! 

We went to our first K-State football game yesterday, so I guess that means fall is officially in the air!! We LOVE football season. Not only because we're diehard fans, but also because it means we get lots of family time in. It's so much easier to say goodbye when you know you'll see them all again in a couple of weeks. This weekend we got to see Matt's sister and her family. I had not seen my nephew Cooper for several months and boy is he growing!! I can't believe how much bigger he is, but the most fun thing is to see his personality coming out and to hear him talk. Not always can I make out the words yet, but he knows what he's saying!

It's so fun to think that a year from now *hopefully* we'll be able to share all of this with our own child. I can't wait to go on vacations as a family of four (Jack included, of course). I can't wait to initiate our child as a little Wildcat and take them to their first K-State football games. I can't wait to see them play with their cousins and get loved on by grandparents and aunts and uncles. 

Thank you for continuing to pray for us as we prepare to meet our child.  In the past, we've been so focused on getting paperwork around and doing all the work we have had to do to get the process going that I we haven't been able to worry a lot about how we are actually going to parent when our child is home!!  I know we will figure this out together, but boy can that thought be intimidating.   Thank goodness God has placed lots of good examples of parents around us to watch and learn from.   

Blessings and Hugs, megan 

Officially on the Waiting List!

It's official...we are now on the waiting list!!  It would have been a little sooner, but I missed the state certification requirement on two of our dossier documents.  So, I had to wait for Holt to send them back to us and then send them in to the state for certification.  Luckily that did not take very long.  So right now, our paperwork is on it's way to Ethiopia where they will review it and then match us with a child.  Unfortunately, they are saying that matching us with a child will most likely be 9-12 months from now and we could travel as soon as 2 weeks after we are matched.  But God is in control of our future and the time it will take until we meet our child.  Right now, we are anxiously waiting and I am praying for patience and a calm heart.  And I have to tell you, I am getting tired of waiting!!!  ;)  But again, God is in control and His plan is perfect for us.  I just have to keep telling myself that.  This is another big step closer to finally being able to hold our child!!!   

Oh Happy Day...Our Paperwork is Done!!

Well, we didn't have to wait very long for our official letter from Immigration, we got it yesterday!!!!  We are both so excited and a little in shock that it came so fast :)  We went out to celebrate the completion of this BIG step towards our adoption.  At this point, minus two photos that we can get at Walgreens today, we are ready to send our dossier to Holt who then reads over it and forwards everything to Ethiopia.  Awwwww, what a big sigh of relief to have the paperwork done!!  At this time, Holt is still saying that it will be about 9-12 months until our baby comes home, so we are definitely still going to need your prayers for patience, to keep us busy, and for our baby's safety over the next coming months.  I know this wait is going to be hard, but we have to get to this point to move closer to meeting our baby. 

With our official letter

Celebrating at Blue Agave

Last night at supper, Matt and I were talking over our adoption journey and how surreal it is to be at this point.  After we had tried for a year unsuccessfully and then learned that we couldn't have our own children, I never thought we'd get here.  I didn't think I/we had the emotional ability to get to this spot.  I am telling you that I never expected to be appreciative of everything we've gone through...but I am :)  I am so thankful for the journey God has put us on and for the little child waiting in Ethiopia for us!  I am so thankful for the characteristics God is carving in me to be the best mom I can be.  It's amazing to think that God ordained this and that Matt and I are apart of something far bigger than just us.  Baby we love you and we are now a step closer to getting to hold you in our arms!!  Hugs and kisses from mom and dad!!

We've Been Fingerprinted

We had our appointment with Immigration Tuesday morning (July 19th) for fingerprinting.  We were in and out in no time!!  Hopefully we'll hear from they with the final go ahead in a week or two, but we have no idea how long our wait will be.  The pictures above are of Matt and I with our stamped paperwork from Immigration.

Busy, Busy

So a few friends -I won't name names- have gotten on me for not posting lately :).   I do apologize, we have been busy.  I'll do my best to try and summarize the last month.
First off, we have an appointment with Immigration on Tuesday the 19th.  We'll get our fingerprints done that day and then we'll wait for them to give us the official go ahead.  Matt and I plan to make a day of it and finish up the last letter we need as well as get everything notarized.  That way we'll be ready to send off our dossier as soon as we receive the okay from immigration.

For Memorial weekend we headed to Table Rock Lake with my family.  We had so much fun!!  The lake was flooded so we weren't able to ski or play on the water, but we did get on the lake to snoop around and also got plenty of float time.  We also all went to a Lynard Skynard and ZZ Top concert.  It was a blast and the people watching was awesome ;)  Let's just say a lot of older folks living out their glory days!!  Too funny!  Table Rock is a home away from home for us.  I spent many summers on this lake growing up and can't wait for my children to do the same.

Matt and I decided to try our green thumbs at a garden this year.  We've had a lot of fun checking it every day and seeing what we have growing.  Who would have ever thought I'd enjoy spending hours in a garden.  Next year we like to at least double it.

We spent a weekend in KC with my brother and Matt's family.  We took in two Cubs/Royals games and spent a lot of time by the pool.  I could do that every weekend!!

Fourth of July is often spent at home with our neighbors.  We are so blessed by our neighbors and the friendships that have formed there.  The neighbor kids put on quite a firework show for us and for now, we just get to sit back and enjoy it.  I'm sure our time for buying the fireworks will come when our kids get older.

Lots more trips and fun things coming up on the calendar for us.  Our goal is to keep ourselves busy and knock a few items off our bucket list before our baby comes home.  So there's the run down.  I hope this gets me out of the dog house with some of you ;)  Thanks for thinking of us and offering your encouragement.  I think we both are surprised at the peace we feel and the patience we have (at least most of the time).  This is definitely not by our power.

megan

Waiting on Immigration

We know that the US Immigration office has received our paperwork, we got an email confirmation this last week.  Now we wait for an appointment to get our fingerprints done.  Hopefully that won't be too far out, but we have been told it can take 6 weeks.  BOO!!!  We are keeping ourselves busy in the meantime: yard work, staining the patio, gardening, and college world series started this weekend.  We are also getting around any loose ends for the dosier, so that when we get our approval we are ready to send in the next step.  Our child will not be waiting on us!!! 

Starting Immigration Paperwork

We received our FINAL copy of our home study this last week.  With it instructions on how to persue our next step...immigration.  I feel like we're on a treasure hunt!!!  Get one step done and get a clue on where the next "check" is :)  Our treasure waiting at the end of all this is definitely worth all the hard work. 

I can't believe I'm actually going to say this, but I don't mind the paperwork; in fact I kind of like it.  It gives me something to do and I feel like I have some say/control in what is happening.  Maybe false control, but it does make me feel better.  We're working as fast as we can to get to you, baby! 

I just got done downloading paperwork for the I-600A form that we have to fill out and send into immigration.  This is our petition to bring an international child to the United States.  It's amazing to me that the instructions are twice as long as the actual paperwork...may be in for some complicated paperwork.  But then again, is anything that has to do with the government not complicated??!!!  I'm looking forward to diving in, but wanted to send out a quick update. 

Love you all!  Thanks for keeping tabs on us.  megan

Home Study...Check :-)

That's right friends!!  Our home study is officially done and yes, we passed :)  Bonnie sent us a rough draft to read over last night.  And this afternoon, we reviewed the home study together.  After that, Bonnie showed us pictures from her trip to Ethiopia in January.  It was cool to see pictures of places that Matt and I will actually be going to. 

We are so excited to check off another big piece of the puzzle.  But I must admit, I am anxious that we are getting closer to the dreaded wait--when all of our work is done and there is nothing we can do to speed things up.  I'm trying not to think about that now though.  It's time to celebrate another step and in the meantime, we still have paperwork to get together for the dossier.   We're getting closer everyday to meeting our little one.

Fuller Family Profile

I have wanted to share Matt and I's adoption profile for a while now, but my computer skills are pretty limited!!  But I finally got it, however without pictures--it will have to do for now.  So many people put a lot of time and effort into our profile, and even though we are not using it as is, we have definitely used bits and pieces as we have been writing letters to the ministry in Ethiopia and filling out questions in regards to the adoption.  So thank you again to family and friends, especially my brother who rewrote our entire profile, for your IQ points and time regarding our profile.  We are so thankful that so many are behind us regarding our adoption.  Love you all!!    

About Matt and Megan

Matt and Megan grew up in the same small town in Kansas. Matt spent his childhood helping his dad on the family farm, playing football, fishing, hunting, and spending weekends at the lake with family and friends. Megan’s childhood was spent playing softball and tennis, participating in church youth group, and taking family vacations to historical, interesting and just plain fun destinations across the country. Matt and Megan were high school sweethearts. We started dating when Megan was a sophomore and Matt a senior and never looked back.  

Matt is a very driven, intelligent, and fun-loving man. He is a respected software engineer and currently holds two master’s degrees, and soon plans to begin working on his third. Several years ago he decided that we should take up hiking as a hobby, which soon led to camping, biking, and running. Matt also enjoys spending time with his friends playing basketball and poker.   

Matt has a younger brother and sister who are married, and each has recently been blessed with a little one. Matt and Megan love spending time with their nephews, who are both 6 months old. We can’t wait for them to get a little bigger, so they can take them camping and hiking. Matt’s parents recently bought the farmstead in Kansas where Matt’s grandparents once lived and Matt enjoys making trips back home to help his parents remodel the farmhouse.

Megan is a dedicated nurse and passionate about caring for her patients.  Her compassion for others has never been limited only to her professional life, but spills over into everything she does. Recently Megan completed her third visit to the impoverished regions of Mexico on a mission trip. This trip was extra special to her because she was accompanied by her dad. Megan has also spent her time as a youth leader and high school Sunday school teacher at church.  Megan has always been very creative and spends her time decorating her home, taking and editing pictures, and always has a project to work on. She also loves spending time with friends shopping or hanging out at each other’s homes.

Megan has a younger brother who recently completed his undergraduate studies and will be starting graduate school soon. Megan’s parents have a vacation home on Table Rock Lake in southern Missouri. The house serves as a rendezvous point for family and friends throughout the year and we try to plan as many trips as possible. In the fall, many Saturday afternoons are spent at K-State football games with Megan’s entire family and often times Matt’s as well.

Matt and Megan have been married now for eight years and fall more deeply in love with each passing year together. We have worked very hard over the first few years of our marriage to create a solid foundation, both financially and emotionally, for our young family. We love animals and are the proud owners of Jack, our 6 year old dog. We rescued Jack from an animal shelter while they were living in Topeka, Kansas. He is a huge part of our family, and goes almost everywhere we go: on vacations, tailgating, hiking, and camping.

Family is very important to both Megan and Matt. We consider ourselves very blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing and supportive environment. We would love nothing more than for the next chapter of their lives to be spent loving and raising a child.

Matt and Megan

Home Study Status

The home study is going great!  In fact, we're all most done with it...I can't believe it!  The home study has been much more relaxed than I made it out to be.  Bonnie is terrific and makes us feel very comfortable to talk around her.  The first day we met, she stayed for about 2 hours.  We talked A LOT about us; our relationship, how we decided on adoption, and in particular why Ethiopia.  She had a few questions and wanted a little more information regarding some of our comments in our 20 page essay questions we submitted earlier.  At the end of that meeting, Bonnie left us with some homework to fill out before our next meeting.  The home work included two pages full of possible medical concerns, diseases, infections, malformations, ect.  Matt and I have mark on each one if we would be open to possibly adopting a child with that concern and to what degree (mild to severe).  It was tough.  I hate the thought of possibly missing out on a child because I said no to something.  In some ways, I felt like I had too much power to pick and choose.  But I trust that God will continue to guide us to the child who is meant for us.

Our second meeting was this last Tuesday for an hour.  Bonnie looked around our house.  We were able to show her where our baby's room will be!!  We visited for a little while longer and discussed how Matt and I deal with conflict.  And that's it...now we are just waiting to receive a rough draft of our home study via email.  We should have it early next week and then we meet with Bonnie one last time to finalize it.  Once we have the official copy of our home study we send it off to immigration and Ethiopia.  Time to start working on the international part!  So excited!!!

    

The Next Phase

We will be starting our home study on May 4th at 9am!!!  Bonnie is planning to spend a couple of hours with us that morning visiting and touring our house--I better get to cleaning.  :)  Then we have two more days set to meet after that; the 10th and 19th.  I am so excited to be starting another phase. 

In the meantime, since I tend to go crazy when I feel like we are just waiting, we have been getting a jump start on the Dossier paperwork-the phase after the homestudy.  Hopefully getting a jump start will save us time down the road. 

Next Step...Home Study

We are making more progress!  Our paperwork went in the mail last week and this week we put a check in the mail to start our home study.  Our paperwork took 6 stamps to mail and was about an inch thick when all was said and done.  Lots of hard work.  We made copies of all of it, so that some day we can share it with our child.  As we started this process, I'm sure I complained more than once about all the paperwork we had to fill out.  Now looking back, what a blessing...they asked some hard questions that Matt and I had to process through and discuss now and not wait until after our child comes home.  Hopefully all of our discussions and decisions will help things go smoother when actually faced with certain situations down the road. 

So the next step is setting up meetings with our social worker for the home study.  It looks like Bonnie is going to be our social worker through this process.  We haven't met her yet, but I am sure we will get along great. 

Prayer Request:  As many of you know, if congress cannot come to an agreement on the budget there is a chance the government might "shut down" until they can agree.  This is scary (and frustrating) on many levels, so I hope that you are already praying about this situation.  What this specifically means for us however, is that no travel visas will be approved from any US Embassys until there is a budget agreement.  For us, this will not matter until after the home study; at which time we will be contacting the US Embassy in Ethiopia to get our travel visas (part of the dossier).  If matters are not resolved by then this could mean a major delay until it is resolved.  My heart is saddened thinking about those families who are ready for this step and now have to wait.  Their hearts must be breaking.  My prayer is that congress will be able to work cohesively and make the best decision for our nation and in a timely manner. 

I realized that I have not updated you all on the situation in Ethiopia and their possible decision to reduce adoptions by 90%.  At this time, adoptions are continuing with only a slight decrease in numbers.  It sounds like we will have to fill out a few more papers, but it doesn't seem like a big deal on our end.  In Ethiopia, they are trying to put into place a better system in which to make sure the birth fathers are properly notified before the child can be adopted.  In the US this is done by contacting the birth father if the mother knows who he is and giving him the chance to decide if he wants to be involved.  If the birth father is not known, a notice is posted in the paper giving information about the situation and giving him a chance to step up.  So in Ethiopia, they will start doing some form of the same.  Adoptions have been on hold for a while there while they re-interviewed birth mothers and located birth fathers, but things seem to be moving now.  All of this will help to ensure ethical, thorough adoptions out of Ethiopia.     

     

       

Emotions of "Pregnancy"

I was having a usual conversation with my mom a few weeks ago, discussing the most recent info regarding the adoption.  Half way through my mom said, "do you realize you are having the same emotions you would if you were pregnant?"  Worrying about our child and praying that they are safe and protected.  Loving them more than I could have ever imagined without having ever met them yet.  I cannot explain what a blessing this comment was and has been for me.  I have spent a lot of time dealing with my feelings regarding not being able to have biological children and now I am actually to the point where I am excited about the journey that is currently leading to our child.  What I still struggle with at times, is the fact that I will never be able to experience pregnancy.  I will never have a sonogram.  I will never feel a baby kick and move in my belly.  I will never experience morning sickness.  I will never experience labor and delivery.  Good or bad; these will not be my experiences.  What has been so exciting for me regarding my mom's comment is that I may not be experiencing the physical feelings of pregnancy, but I am able to experience the emotional feelings of pregnancy.  God is so good!!  Even though he has a different plan mapped out for me, He still knows what I need/want and is still able to give me a sense that I am "pregnant" or at least expecting a little one of our own.   

Holt Gala and Auction

Matt and I were able to attend a gala benefit for Holt last night.  We had so much fun!  We never have an opportunity to get all dressed up, so even that was fun--for me at least!  Matt has lost so much weight in the past year that we had to go buy him new suit pants.  His suit coat is too big as well, but thought it would work for one night.

We had no idea what to expect going into the night.  It started with a silent auction.  There was a room full of items to bid on!  Lots of different items; some authentic items from world travels, pictures, artwork, books, items from local shops, tickets, lots of Husker stuff.  I don't know how much money they made on the silent auction bids, but I guarantee it was a lot. During the silent auction time, we were able to catch up with several couples we went to PIP class with.  It's fun to keep up with everyone and see how things are progressing for each of them.

After that, we sat down for supper.  We sat at a table with two Holt social workers from Iowa, a couple who are in the process of adopting from China, and two other couples who are friends of Holt families.  Molly Holt, daughter of Bertha and Harry Holt- Holt founders- was in attendance.  She lives in Korea and helps run the Ilsan Center.  The center is home for disabled children until they are adopted.  She was the guest speaker.  One of the tables donated $600 for Molly to eat supper with them.  For supper we had salad, dinner rolls, filet and chicken, wild rice, and asian style vegetables. 

The rest of the evening consisted of a live auction.  This was quite entertaining!!  Some of the items auctioned off included:  Husker vs Ohio State tickets, Korean and Indian cooking classes, Asian quilt, Hawaii for a week, Cruises, African safari, and the 77th Heisman Football.  Guess what...Matt and I will be going on a cruise!!  We have three years to go and three destinations to choose from.  I'm thinking a winter get away to Mexico.  :)

On top of all that, Holt raised over $40,000 in donations for Ilsan Center last night.  Let me make that clear, in addition to all the auction items listed above!  After supper, they did what was called "Dessert Dash".  We made bids for dessert based on a table bid and were able to pick out desserts based on how much we bid.  They raised over $17,000 just for dessert!  It was delicious.  Our dessert was an assortment of many different cookies.   

It was quite a night!  I am so thankful to the people there willing to give so freely to benefit Holt.  Matt and I strongly believe in what they do and their mission.  We're looking forward to many more evenings with our Holt family.         

Be Still and Know that I Am God

Be still and Know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

This has been my prayer over the last week and continues to speak to my heart.  It is hard to understand why there is so much turmoil in the world right now and I can easily get caught up in "why God?", but He keeps reminding me to "be still and know that I am God".  And therefore, still very much in control.

The Prime Minister of Japan has been quoted in saying that this is the worst disaster since WWII.  I am so saddened and in shock as I watch the footage from the tsunami caused by a major earthquake that has destroyed much of northern Japan.  Thousands of people have lost there lives and assumable the number will continue to rise as the waters recede.  The Japanese people who have survived the natural disaster have an unbelievable task in front of them in order to "get back to normal".  On top of the tsunami disaster, there are several nuclear power plants that were hit in a direct line of fire from the tsunami waves causing them to malfunction and one is currently leaking radioactive material.  This is scary stuff and is easy to ask where  God is in all of this.  He continues to remind me that He is still in control--Be still and know that I am God.

I have also been watching closely, the turmoil in Libya and how Gadhafi has responded to such uprising.  It is hard for me to understand the turmoil the people of Libya have to rise and face everyday.  What is happening in Libya is especially important to me at this time, since Ethiopia is so close.  My family is there and I am praying daily for their safety.  That God would protect them and their experiences.   

I subscribe to a weekly email called GotQuestions.org.  They sent out an email shortly after the Tsunami in Japan asking the question "Why does God allow natural disasters?"  Here is a quote from that email.

  Such events shake our confidence in this life and force us to think about eternity. Churches are usually filled after disasters as people realize how tenuous their lives really are and how life can be taken away in an instant. What we do know is this: God is good! Many amazing miracles occurred during the course of natural disasters that prevented even greater loss of life. Natural disasters cause millions of people to reevaluate their priorities in life. Hundreds of millions of dollars in aid is sent to help the people who are suffering. Christian ministries have the opportunity to help, minister, counsel, pray, and lead people to saving faith in Christ! God can, and does, bring great good out of terrible tragedies.    

We continue to receive emails daily from Holt updating us on the situation regarding possible changes with the Ethiopian adoption program.  At this time, we do not have any for sure information.  Last we learned on Friday, that there will be a meeting between the US Embassy and Ministry of Women, Children’s and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA).  In my last post, I stated that it was the Ethiopian government wanting to make the change, but it seems as though it is this entity of the government (MOWCYA) who is actually wanting to make the change.  And they will have to go through higher levels of authority in order for the change to pass.  Matt and I have a sense of peace about the situation and know that it will be worked out.  We are not entirely sure what the program will look like once there is a decision, but we trust that there will be  resolution.  "Be still and know that I am God." 

Asking For Prayers

I am sending out this blog tonight specifically asking for your prayers again.  Matt and I have received emails from Holt the last two days preparing us that there may be some changes happening soon with the Ethiopia program.  What the Ethiopian government is proposing could decrease adoptions out of their country by 90%.  Holt is keeping us as updated as possible and expect a determination between the US Embassy and Ethiopia within the week.  If you would like to read more, here is the link to the alert:   http://adoption.state.gov/news/ethiopia_alert.html

On my way to work this morning I heard that there were some extremists that attacked several villages in Western Ethiopia.  We have been paying extra close attention to what has been happening in Libya and Egypt.  Everything seems too close to home right now.  Our family, our baby might be right in the middle of what is happening over seas.  It makes me so scared of what they may be experiencing and so helpless that I can't do a dang thing to help them nor protect them.  All I can do is pray and trust that God is going to protect our child and their family. 

You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)

O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress. (Jeremiah 16:19)

What We're Up to Lately

What we are up to is lots and lots of paperwork.  We are currently in the middle of our initial paperwork.  We've been gathering information and documents that we need now and will need down the road such as birth certificates, marriage license, all past addresses (this took Matt some doing, as we have both moved probably 10 times since high school!!).  We made a trip down to the state patrol and got fingerprinted.  This was pretty cool actually.  They don't use ink and paper any more (imagine that!), it was all electronic.  Matt and I just have one document a piece that we have left with the first step- a 15 page essay document that we each have to fill out separately.  Some of the questions are ones that we didn't think we'd have to think about yet such as a will and how we plan to dicipline.  These are things that we knew would come up eventually, but we kind of thought we'd receive our baby first and then worry about it!!!  We're both glad that these things are coming up now though, so that we have time to discuss and prepare. 

Once we get all of our paperwork handed in, the home study process will begin.  So we are definitely making progress.       

A Family Affair

I have been blessed with an amazing family!  They never cease to amaze me.  My parents were able to come up on Wednesday night and Bobby on Friday, so we got in lots of great family time.  I've known since Matt and I started this journey that our family is completely behind us in this, but this weekend I learned a lot more about what that means.  We spent hours talking about our classes and what we learned; because they really wanted to know and learn along with us.  They had lots of questions and we were able to talk through a lot of the concerns that we had after the classes last weekend.  One of the suggestions that we took away from the class was to start buying books, toys, dolls, etc that have different colored people in them--not all white.  I never would have thought of that on my own, but what a simple thing that we can do when bringing home a black child.  On Thursday afternoon, mom and I headed off to the book store and spent probably an hour just reading through children's books.  And we came home with some great books.  One book called "God Found Us You", had me tearing up by the end!!

We had also learned in our classes that there are several Ethiopian restaurants in town.  When my family learned about that it was quickly decided that it was definitely time to check it out.  So on Saturday night that's just what we did!!  We ventured downtown and arrived at a little restaurant/Ethiopian Market.  There were people in the market the whole time we were there, but we were the only people in the restaurant.  The owners were amazingly patient and kind with us; explaining the menu, explaining what everything was once we received our food AND how everything was cooked, all the while taking pictures for us.  Yep, we were eager to learn AND document the evening!  Like I said-very patient with us.  On the way out, we thanked them again for everything and promised that on our next trip we would act a little more like "normal" people. :)  Oh, and the food was delicious!  It was served family style and we ate everything by hand.  We ordered two dishes, both made with lamb; one was just chopped lamb with spices and the other was a leg of lamb with lentils, greens, and veggies.  We were also served Injera Bread-kind of like pancakes- which we used  like silverware to scoop up the lamb and lentils.  We all tried real Ethiopian coffee as well, which is STRONG!!!  I kept watering it down and adding sugar, but Matt loved it straight up.  I gotta say, eating with your hands and out of the serving dish is a great way to go!!  And saves a lot of dishes to wash.  We may have to adopt this at home!

My family proved to us this weekend just how "in" this they really are.  They don't just care because we care, they care because they love our child as much as we do.  We love that they are reading, researching about Ethiopia, and preparing right along with us.  There is no doubt that our child will be loved beyond their imagination by our entire family.         

Parents In Progress

Matt and I spent the last two days attending adoption classes at Holt.  I have to admit that I was a little hesitant about these classes, but these last two days I have learned so much and am so glad we went.  It was so cool to be sitting in a room with 5 other couples, who are in the same boat we are, discussing topics honestly and opening.  I learned a lot about myself and also opened my eyes to what this process of adoption entails.  All of what we learned was incredibly insightful, but some of it was also really scary and made us question if we are ready for adopting a child from another race/culture.    


I was going into this process thinking that we would adopt, all of our dreams would come true, and then life would be "normal".  Now that is absolutely true, but what I have added to all that is that adoption is not a one time thing- it is an ongoing process throughout ours' and our child's life.  Think about it, we will be bringing home a black child into a very white world.  The stereotypes they will face, I know nothing about and honestly wasn't very aware before this week.  Matt and I have a lot of privileges just for being white and "American".  Our child will have a history and a previous life that they may always have questions about.  Just like Matt and I have suffered losses in our lives, our child will as well--although very different situations.  And just like I have questioned "why", my child will as well.  And just like how I have ups and downs in dealing with my history and have different situations that bring up painful feelings, my child will have situations throughout their life that may bring up those feelings as well.  During our classes, Celeste proposed lots of different situations, different questions our children may ask us, different thoughts/comments that any stranger may say and gave us a chance to role play answering them.  Our child will have questions, it's only natural and I hope that we have lots of answers to give them.  I am so thankful that through the Ethiopia program we will get a chance to meet their birth family and will hopefully get lots of answers for them at that time.  It was scary for Matt and I to watch videos of adopted children who still had questions or seemed angry that their birth parents "didn't want them".  But coming out of our classes, Matt and I feel much more prepared to handle the situations and conversations that may lie in front of us.  Not that we have everything figured out, but it feels better to have "everything on the table" and some discussions had. 


The classes have made this experience much more "real"--this is happening!!!  All that I can think about right now is how much I/we love our little boy or girl.  Our child may not have even been conceived yet or they may already be in an orphanage, but we are praying for them everyday--for them and for their family.  Baby- we love you and cannot wait to see your face and bring you home. 


I want to share more about the specifics of our classes, but I am exhausted right now.  I will share more in the next couple of days.


Love you friends, megan    

An Open Door

So we placed the call to Holt today and we are on the road again; this time to Ethiopia!! If you remember, this was my initial first choice~so we've come full circle.  We are really excited, but are also trying to guard our hearts a little give the last couple of months. 

When we met with Bethany we discussed Russia, Bulgaria, Columbia, and Ethiopia.  Russia's program is seriously intense.  Almost double the paperwork, a month long trip, and they are very strict on medical histories.  We decided that this was not something we wanted to deal with.  The process is stressful enough without adding more work and restrictions.  Bulgaria is new program, so we would essentially be guinea pigs.  Not really what we are wanting, at least the first go around.  And Columbia currently has a waiting time of 4 years that is continuing to lengthen. 

Ethiopia's program has intrigued us from day one. They are not a Hague country, but they have a very ethical adoption program.  Ethiopia is the only country in which we would get a chance to meet the birth mom and other family members.  We will make two trips to Ethiopia for about 5 days each with 10 weeks in between visits.  One of the hardest things will be that we'll meet our baby during the first trip and won't be able to take him/her home until the second trip.  

Please continue to pray for us.  We are learning to trust that God is directing our path, we just have to let Him.  It has also become very evident to me that when times are harder, I have a tough time putting all my trust in Him...I try to hang on to at least a little piece of "control".  This does not make my life easier; it makes it tougher in fact.  I pray that God will continue to shape my heart and my life so that I will be able to trust Him fully in good times and in bad.

Love you friends, megan 

Quick Update

What a crazy couple of weeks it has been.  Sometimes I feel like we are riding on a roller coaster.  So when I left off last, we had just learned that the Thailand program had closed.  At the end of that week, I had a message from Celeste but we played phone tag until mid way through the following week.  At that point we learned that even though the program had closed, Celeste went ahead and sent our application just to see what they would say.  What we learned was that Thailand would not accept us ever with my medical diagnosis of hypothyroidism.  Yep, seriously!!  Thailand views hypothyroidism as serious as cardiac issues or diabetes.  It is simply a lack of education and treatment options available in Thailand.  Celeste said that in the past clients have asked their physicians to omit stuff like this off their medical history.  That evening Matt and I talked and even though we thought it was ridiculous there was no way we would ever feel ok with consciously omitting from our medical history.  Really, at the end of the night we had a good laugh.  We asked God for guidance and this suddenly felt like a big neon sign saying "not this direction"!!  So we thought that was it, until we got another call the next day.  Celeste had more news.  Now Thailand wanted to add us to their program!!  What??!!!  We were so flabbergasted that we didn't even know what to say.  Cautiously, we asked if we were only approved if we would ask our physician to omit the hypothyroidism from my medical history. Yes, that is the only way Celeste informed us and then went into lots of other information.  How do we say no???  Something so minimal was not going to stand in our way.  The next couple of days were spent going back and forth.  We even made a trip home to see family and get their incite on the situation.  In the end we knew that we were just trying to justify to ourselves why it would be ok for us to go ahead and pursue the Thailand program.  We finally had to face that if we were working this hard to justify ourselves, this was obviously not ok. 

So, by Sunday we had officially decided that Thailand was not in our cards.  This was not easy to come to this conclusion, but boy did I feel like a weight had been lifted once we were finally able to tell Celeste our decision.  We both knew that we did not want to build our family on a lie.  And we are learning very quickly how stressful this process can be, we don't want to add our own stress by worrying about a lie we have hidden away.   

So we are offically on hold again.  However, I think we are very close to making another decision on a country.  We spent quite a bit of time on the phone with Bethany Christian Services last night talking over country programs that they work with.  We were able to talk through some of our questions and make some deicisons on countries we thought we were interested in.  Sorry, I know I am being very vague.  But we are holding off the excitement until we have been accepted and are on the trail again.  We'll continue to keep you all posted.

Thank you again, so much for all your messages, thoughts, and prayers.  Blessings, megan                  

~overwhelmed~

I am feeling so overwhelmed, not for our situation but because of the amazing family and friends we have.  It is amazing the phone calls, emails, messages, etc. we have received in the last two days.  We know that no matter what happens we are totally and completely blessed with and by our family and friends.  All I can say is "thank you".  It is an awesome and overwhelming feeling to know that people love us enough to pray with and for us.  Many people have expressed that they wished they could do more, but I know that prayer is the best thing they could do now.  I guarantee that I would not be this calm or have this sense of peace if it were not for our Father and your prayers. 

It's awesome when God speaks.  I truly have felt and heard Him over the last two days.  And He has spoke to me through many of your comments.  Below is a verse that I have received numerous times from several friends and family.  And I think it hits the spot.  In fact I have posted it on my bathroom mirror, refrigerator and have a copy to take to work.  That way I'll have the encouragement I need wherever I go :)     

Romans 8:28 (The Message) 26-28 "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."
Romans 8:26-28 (New International Version, ©2010) 26 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."

Again, thank you so much for your love and support!  We cannot do this on our own.  ~megan 

All I Have is Hope

Anger, confusion, sadness...yep those words definitely describe how I have been feeling since yesterday afternoon.  Matt received a call yesterday from Holt saying that unfortunately the Thailand program is currently closed~not accepting applications at this time.  Celeste said that she had received an email two days after our meeting with the news that the program was closed.  She tried to find a phone number for us so that she could let us know the current situation, but since we only have our cell phones she was unable to contact us.  Basically how the Thailand program works is that they only allow 25 waiting families at one time, then once about 10 children have been placed they will open up the program again.  In Celeste's experience, she told us that she would expect the program to open again in 6-9 months.

I know many of you are probably thinking, well just go with Ethiopia then.  To us, it's not that easy.  We felt that God lead us to this decision and now we have no idea what His plan is.  Part of me is so confused as to what He is doing with the situation and part of me is so angry with God because we felt that He lead us to this decision and then all the sudden the door shuts.  But regardless, this is either not His will or the time is not right. 

I'll be honest, yesterday God was the last one I wanted to turn to.  But this morning as I woke up, I was yearning for Him and all I could do was be honest with Him about what I was feeling.  Recently, our pastor preached about praying and really believing that God can deliver.  So, I've been praying that God will show us the road to take.  I am praying that God will give us some sure signs that He is still with us, guiding us, and that we are not alone.  We need to hear His voice, right now in this moment.  

As I was reading this morning, I was drawn to James 1:2-12. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God...Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the of life that God has promised to those who love Him.

So, my faith is definitely being tested but we are taking God at His word and asking Him for wisdom.  Knowing that He loves us.  Also knowing that this life is NOT about me, Matt, or what we want.  It is all about God's purpose and what He wants to accomplish through us and our trials.  

       Romans 5:3-5

but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character and hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit 

Right now, I don't have any answers regarding what we are supposed to do next.  But I do know that He is still here, He has not forsaken us.  Everything is in His timing, even when we don't understand His time table.  He isn't finished with refining us in this particular situation.  And I definitely don't want to finish this without being "complete".  Even though I don't understand why, I am going to hold onto the hope that He has given me, because otherwise I have nothing else to stand on.

I am asking you now, friends/family to pray with us/for us.

1. That we would feel Him and know He is here.  That He is guiding the situation.

2. That He would show us what to do and where/when to move.  

3. That we would be open and receptive to the direction He lays out for us.

4. That Matt and I would be able to rely on each other as we continue to work through this and not fight with each other.  

I feel like I can't finish this blog without a couple more thoughts.  Matt and I are not opposed to the idea of adopting through another country.  We know that there are so many beautiful children out there, from lots of different countries that deserve to be loved and cared for.  Our dilemma comes from wanting to follow Christ and where He is leading us and that includes what country He wants us to adopt from.  I know that in the end, whatever country/city/agency He leads us to adopt from, we will end up with a beautiful child.   

I have had this saying tacked up on our refrigerator for quite some time now.  I found it on the blog of another friend who has gone through something that seemed unbearable at the time and God has worked miracles in their life.  The saying has always been an encouragement to me, so I will end with it today. 

He chose us for this, and if I'm going to walk through a valley of this magnitude, then you best believe that I will not waste this. I will not walk out unchanged, lacking more than when I entered in.

Thank you in advance for your prayers.  I know that God can and will work through them.  ~megan



Step One...Check!!

That's right, the paperwork is signed, notarized, and in the mail!!  We went to the bank Saturday morning and signed the Holt agreement.  The lady who notarized our paperwork was so sweet and wished us "the best of luck".  Our application has been filled out since earlier in the week.  We also had to send in a picture of ourselves and our home as well as our last three years of tax statements.  And of course, our first check.  Can't wait for the piles of paperwork to start coming our way.  I don't think I've ever looked so forward to paperwork!  :)

   

Decision Time!!!

Yep, you heard right we have made a decision...

THAILAND!!!!!

We are so excited!  We weighed out both options, considered pros and cons, asked others how they decided on a country, prayed...and eventually decided that we had to just go with the choice that was on both of our hearts.  How amazing that we both felt strongly about the same country in the end!! 

We are going to sign paperwork this weekend in front of a notary.  The application is filled out, so after we get it notarized it will all go in the mail and we'll be on our way.