A Family Affair

I have been blessed with an amazing family!  They never cease to amaze me.  My parents were able to come up on Wednesday night and Bobby on Friday, so we got in lots of great family time.  I've known since Matt and I started this journey that our family is completely behind us in this, but this weekend I learned a lot more about what that means.  We spent hours talking about our classes and what we learned; because they really wanted to know and learn along with us.  They had lots of questions and we were able to talk through a lot of the concerns that we had after the classes last weekend.  One of the suggestions that we took away from the class was to start buying books, toys, dolls, etc that have different colored people in them--not all white.  I never would have thought of that on my own, but what a simple thing that we can do when bringing home a black child.  On Thursday afternoon, mom and I headed off to the book store and spent probably an hour just reading through children's books.  And we came home with some great books.  One book called "God Found Us You", had me tearing up by the end!!

We had also learned in our classes that there are several Ethiopian restaurants in town.  When my family learned about that it was quickly decided that it was definitely time to check it out.  So on Saturday night that's just what we did!!  We ventured downtown and arrived at a little restaurant/Ethiopian Market.  There were people in the market the whole time we were there, but we were the only people in the restaurant.  The owners were amazingly patient and kind with us; explaining the menu, explaining what everything was once we received our food AND how everything was cooked, all the while taking pictures for us.  Yep, we were eager to learn AND document the evening!  Like I said-very patient with us.  On the way out, we thanked them again for everything and promised that on our next trip we would act a little more like "normal" people. :)  Oh, and the food was delicious!  It was served family style and we ate everything by hand.  We ordered two dishes, both made with lamb; one was just chopped lamb with spices and the other was a leg of lamb with lentils, greens, and veggies.  We were also served Injera Bread-kind of like pancakes- which we used  like silverware to scoop up the lamb and lentils.  We all tried real Ethiopian coffee as well, which is STRONG!!!  I kept watering it down and adding sugar, but Matt loved it straight up.  I gotta say, eating with your hands and out of the serving dish is a great way to go!!  And saves a lot of dishes to wash.  We may have to adopt this at home!

My family proved to us this weekend just how "in" this they really are.  They don't just care because we care, they care because they love our child as much as we do.  We love that they are reading, researching about Ethiopia, and preparing right along with us.  There is no doubt that our child will be loved beyond their imagination by our entire family.         

Parents In Progress

Matt and I spent the last two days attending adoption classes at Holt.  I have to admit that I was a little hesitant about these classes, but these last two days I have learned so much and am so glad we went.  It was so cool to be sitting in a room with 5 other couples, who are in the same boat we are, discussing topics honestly and opening.  I learned a lot about myself and also opened my eyes to what this process of adoption entails.  All of what we learned was incredibly insightful, but some of it was also really scary and made us question if we are ready for adopting a child from another race/culture.    


I was going into this process thinking that we would adopt, all of our dreams would come true, and then life would be "normal".  Now that is absolutely true, but what I have added to all that is that adoption is not a one time thing- it is an ongoing process throughout ours' and our child's life.  Think about it, we will be bringing home a black child into a very white world.  The stereotypes they will face, I know nothing about and honestly wasn't very aware before this week.  Matt and I have a lot of privileges just for being white and "American".  Our child will have a history and a previous life that they may always have questions about.  Just like Matt and I have suffered losses in our lives, our child will as well--although very different situations.  And just like I have questioned "why", my child will as well.  And just like how I have ups and downs in dealing with my history and have different situations that bring up painful feelings, my child will have situations throughout their life that may bring up those feelings as well.  During our classes, Celeste proposed lots of different situations, different questions our children may ask us, different thoughts/comments that any stranger may say and gave us a chance to role play answering them.  Our child will have questions, it's only natural and I hope that we have lots of answers to give them.  I am so thankful that through the Ethiopia program we will get a chance to meet their birth family and will hopefully get lots of answers for them at that time.  It was scary for Matt and I to watch videos of adopted children who still had questions or seemed angry that their birth parents "didn't want them".  But coming out of our classes, Matt and I feel much more prepared to handle the situations and conversations that may lie in front of us.  Not that we have everything figured out, but it feels better to have "everything on the table" and some discussions had. 


The classes have made this experience much more "real"--this is happening!!!  All that I can think about right now is how much I/we love our little boy or girl.  Our child may not have even been conceived yet or they may already be in an orphanage, but we are praying for them everyday--for them and for their family.  Baby- we love you and cannot wait to see your face and bring you home. 


I want to share more about the specifics of our classes, but I am exhausted right now.  I will share more in the next couple of days.


Love you friends, megan    

An Open Door

So we placed the call to Holt today and we are on the road again; this time to Ethiopia!! If you remember, this was my initial first choice~so we've come full circle.  We are really excited, but are also trying to guard our hearts a little give the last couple of months. 

When we met with Bethany we discussed Russia, Bulgaria, Columbia, and Ethiopia.  Russia's program is seriously intense.  Almost double the paperwork, a month long trip, and they are very strict on medical histories.  We decided that this was not something we wanted to deal with.  The process is stressful enough without adding more work and restrictions.  Bulgaria is new program, so we would essentially be guinea pigs.  Not really what we are wanting, at least the first go around.  And Columbia currently has a waiting time of 4 years that is continuing to lengthen. 

Ethiopia's program has intrigued us from day one. They are not a Hague country, but they have a very ethical adoption program.  Ethiopia is the only country in which we would get a chance to meet the birth mom and other family members.  We will make two trips to Ethiopia for about 5 days each with 10 weeks in between visits.  One of the hardest things will be that we'll meet our baby during the first trip and won't be able to take him/her home until the second trip.  

Please continue to pray for us.  We are learning to trust that God is directing our path, we just have to let Him.  It has also become very evident to me that when times are harder, I have a tough time putting all my trust in Him...I try to hang on to at least a little piece of "control".  This does not make my life easier; it makes it tougher in fact.  I pray that God will continue to shape my heart and my life so that I will be able to trust Him fully in good times and in bad.

Love you friends, megan