That is the question! And we do not have the answer, yet!! We met with Holt (Celeste) today and the meeting went great. She was able to answer our questions and calm some of our fears regarding what had appeared like unforeseen expenses. So we can officially check the agency agreement off the list!! DONE!
When we were with her we told her that we were having a hard time deciding between Thailand and Ethiopia. She explained some of the current situations with both countries.
Thailand
The Thailand program is a smaller program. Celeste told us that at any given time they only have 2-3 families pursuing adoption from Thailand. The children waiting for adoption are in the foster care system and are well cared for. The waiting time is approximately 2-2.5 years. Children at the time of placement are 14 months to 2 years. Matt and I would have to travel to Thailand once for about a 2 week trip. We would be matched with a child about 10 months prior to being able to take them home.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/country_profiles/1237845.stm
Ethiopia
Holt does a lot more adoptions through Ethiopia. We understood that most of the children are in care centers while waiting for adoptive parents. Children may be 6 months to 2 years at the time of placement. We would make two trips to Ethiopia for about a week each trip. On the first trip we would meet our child and go to court to verify the adoption. The second trip would be when we would get to take our child home. We would also get the opportunity to meet the birth family and get to know them. The waiting time is approximately 1-1.5 years.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/country_profiles/1072164.stm
Matt and I are not heart broken at all at the thought of having to travel to either of these countries!! But how do we decide which country to choose???? We don't know how to make this decision. It's interesting because when we started thinking about international adoption, I was completely thinking Ethiopia. But over the last month, I have started leaning a little more towards Thailand. Matt's top choice has always been Thailand. Honestly, I don't think we can make a bad choice...but I am still stressing. The only thing that I know is exactly what I plan to do~~pray, pray, pray and I know that God with guide us. I am really stuck on the year difference between the two programs right now and I don't want to make a decision based on that...but I don't want to wait any longer than I have to either!!! We are totally open to thoughts, advice on which way to go. Please let us know if you have words of wisdom to share with us.
We'll keep you all posted. In the mean time, please say a prayer along with us.
~megan
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Merry Christmas!!
What a wonderful Christmas we had!! I can't believe it's over already. I do love this season~~all the preparation, decorating, traditions, family, friends, and most importantly celebrating our Savior's birth. If I ever would forget, Christmas will always remind me how blessed we are! We made two trips home this year~one weekend to celebrate with Matt's family and one weekend with my family. It is worth two trips home to get to spend time with our families. I hate having to squeeze in two Christmas celebrations into one short trip. Two weekends means we got lots of quality time with both of our families.
Here is a couple of pictures from Fuller Christmas. It was our nephews first Christmas and we had so much fun with them!! It's been so fun watching them grow and change over the last year!
Here are a couple of pictures from the Angell Christmas.
Hoping you all had as wonderful of a Christmas as we did.
~megan
Here is a couple of pictures from Fuller Christmas. It was our nephews first Christmas and we had so much fun with them!! It's been so fun watching them grow and change over the last year!
Here are a couple of pictures from the Angell Christmas.
~megan
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
And the Paperwork Begins...
So Matt and I have been warned by all of our friends who have gone through the adoption process, how much paperwork there is to be filled out. We have just started the paperwork and the first piece of it is a very legalize written Holt Agency agreement. I honestly only made it through a couple of pages and realized I had no idea what I was reading! Matt made it through the entire 12 pages which took him 3-4 hours to get through, but we still have questions about what exactly we are signing. So we are going in to talk to Celeste at Holt--the local office happens to be down the street...coincidence, I think not--on December 28th to get our questions answered. :-) I am so excited. This is all becoming very real!
This last weekend while we were driving back and forth from Christmas with Matt's family we were talking about how last year at this time we were still waiting to see the fertility doctor for the second opinion. Now looking back that seems like SO long ago. We have come so far in that year and have made lots of decisions. It feels so good to be at this point!!
We also had fun talking about how we can incorporate our child's culture into their lives even after they come to the United States. It is really important to us that our child knows where they come from. We came up with a really cool idea, that on their adoption day every year, we could have a celebration like they might have had in their home country.
I can't remember if I have shared with you all that the countries we are down to are Ethiopia and Thailand. We really don't want to make up our minds though until after we have talked with Celeste and have an idea of how things are going in those countries, currently.
blessings friends, megan
This last weekend while we were driving back and forth from Christmas with Matt's family we were talking about how last year at this time we were still waiting to see the fertility doctor for the second opinion. Now looking back that seems like SO long ago. We have come so far in that year and have made lots of decisions. It feels so good to be at this point!!
We also had fun talking about how we can incorporate our child's culture into their lives even after they come to the United States. It is really important to us that our child knows where they come from. We came up with a really cool idea, that on their adoption day every year, we could have a celebration like they might have had in their home country.
I can't remember if I have shared with you all that the countries we are down to are Ethiopia and Thailand. We really don't want to make up our minds though until after we have talked with Celeste and have an idea of how things are going in those countries, currently.
blessings friends, megan
Saturday, December 4, 2010
One Decision Down
I am so happy to be able to share this news...we have made a decision!!! We are definitely going with international adoption. I am so excited about this. It's amazing to see how God has brought us to this point. When we first started talking about adoption, we quickly turned our heads at international adoption. I don't even really remember why we quickly made that decision, but it had a lot to do with what other people might think. God has used the last couple of years to change our hearts and to really show us that the people that mean the most in our lives don't care what color skin our child has or where they come from.
After we met with Nebraska Children's Home we spent a lot of time talking about our options and we kept coming back to the fact that babies that need an adoptive family in the United States have lots available. Unlike babies born overseas, where they typically end up in orphanages. We feel that God has given us a heart for international adoption and we feel that we can make a bigger difference for a child who is not born in the United States.
Now for the next big decision...we have to choose which country we want to adopt from. We have several that we are currently talking about. All have pros and cons. I am not quite ready to share that yet. But please be praying for us as we continue to make big decisions for an adoption.
Blessings, megan
After we met with Nebraska Children's Home we spent a lot of time talking about our options and we kept coming back to the fact that babies that need an adoptive family in the United States have lots available. Unlike babies born overseas, where they typically end up in orphanages. We feel that God has given us a heart for international adoption and we feel that we can make a bigger difference for a child who is not born in the United States.
Now for the next big decision...we have to choose which country we want to adopt from. We have several that we are currently talking about. All have pros and cons. I am not quite ready to share that yet. But please be praying for us as we continue to make big decisions for an adoption.
Blessings, megan
Monday, November 29, 2010
So Very Thankful
So, I know this post is a little late but I can't pass it up. I love Thanksgiving and hate that it is often over-shadowed by Halloween and Christmas. I have a strict "no Christmas until after Thanksgiving rule at our house". I think that remembering all the many blessings we have to be thankful for, helps to prepare our hearts for the Christmas season and what it is truely all about.
This year has not been an easy one, but I still have so much to be thankful for. In the mist of heartache and longing, God has blessed me countless times. Here are a couple items from my list.
1. My mom is healthy!!! She was diagnosed with one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer in 2009. She went through a year of chemotherapy and radiation treatment and now has a clean bill of health. When God gives you challenges there is always a reason for it, even though most of the time you can't understand those reasons until afterwards. My family truly came together and supported each other. We are stronger for it and we know exactly Who our strength comes from.
2. I was able to spend a week in Amealco, Mexico serving alongside my dad!! I shared this story earlier, but this was definitely a high point for the year. Not many people can say that they have had an opportunity like this and I am so thankful to say that I now have memories to last a life time.
3. I have been blessed with an amazing husband. I know that I have found a diamond in the rough. He doesn't hesitate to help clean house, make supper, go grocery shopping, and many more things. And let's just say that it takes a patient person to put up with me on a daily basis. I can't wait to see him in the role of dad. He's going to be terrific!
4. God blessed us with 2 nephews in April :) They are joy and I smile just thinking about them.
5. I have a job that I love...how many people can say that??!!! I love that I am one of those people. I love knowing that each and every day I can make a big difference in someone else's life. Such a feeling of satisfaction.
Okay, well I could go on and on. But there's the shortened version. :) Happy Thanksgiving!!
This year has not been an easy one, but I still have so much to be thankful for. In the mist of heartache and longing, God has blessed me countless times. Here are a couple items from my list.
1. My mom is healthy!!! She was diagnosed with one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer in 2009. She went through a year of chemotherapy and radiation treatment and now has a clean bill of health. When God gives you challenges there is always a reason for it, even though most of the time you can't understand those reasons until afterwards. My family truly came together and supported each other. We are stronger for it and we know exactly Who our strength comes from.
2. I was able to spend a week in Amealco, Mexico serving alongside my dad!! I shared this story earlier, but this was definitely a high point for the year. Not many people can say that they have had an opportunity like this and I am so thankful to say that I now have memories to last a life time.
3. I have been blessed with an amazing husband. I know that I have found a diamond in the rough. He doesn't hesitate to help clean house, make supper, go grocery shopping, and many more things. And let's just say that it takes a patient person to put up with me on a daily basis. I can't wait to see him in the role of dad. He's going to be terrific!
4. God blessed us with 2 nephews in April :) They are joy and I smile just thinking about them.
5. I have a job that I love...how many people can say that??!!! I love that I am one of those people. I love knowing that each and every day I can make a big difference in someone else's life. Such a feeling of satisfaction.
Okay, well I could go on and on. But there's the shortened version. :) Happy Thanksgiving!!
Beyond My Cicumstances
I shared with you all a while ago, that I have been studying the fruit of the Spirit with a couple of girlfriends. I was re-reading some of the ideas and thoughts that had caught my attention, when I came across this idea of focusing on the destination rather than the circumstances. As I have been really contemplating this idea over the last couple of days, it has become very evident to me just how difficult of a task this can be. When you are in the middle of a situation it is very difficult to remain focused on the ultimate destination rather then the current circumstances that you are walking through. Matt and I are currently talking a lot about our options and trying to make the best decision for us and our future family. We, for the most part, often agree and are able to make decisions. But I tend to decide more with my emotions and Matt more with his brain. This can cause quite the conflict at times. As Matt and I were driving to and from home this weekend, we spent a lot of time discussing our options and what further investigating we need to do. Talking about more researching made me really angry in the moment. At times, I feel like this is never going to happen and wonder how much more researching can we possibly do. Seriously, I just want to make a decision and go for it. I can get so caught up in my current circumstances and forget that this decision affects the rest of our lives--it is no small decision and definitely not one to make while getting lost in our circumstances. Keeping focused on the final destination is definitely where we need to stay. And that is definitely not something that I can do by my own power. "Christ didn't change his circumstances to make them bearable. He mastered them at the peak of their impossibility." (Beth Moore) When this journey is all finished I want to say that He mastered my circumstances at the peak of their impossibility.
So, unfortunately I don't have a final decision to share with you all...yet. But it is coming. I keep praying that Matt and I will agree completely on our final decision. I am also praying that God will continue to lead and guide us to our decision. I pray that He would guide us through our research and lead us to the information that we are looking for.
Blessings, megan
So, unfortunately I don't have a final decision to share with you all...yet. But it is coming. I keep praying that Matt and I will agree completely on our final decision. I am also praying that God will continue to lead and guide us to our decision. I pray that He would guide us through our research and lead us to the information that we are looking for.
Blessings, megan
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Nebraska Children's Home Update
Matt and I were finally able to attend an informational meeting for Nebraska Children's Home last night. They only do about 6 meetings per year and only allow so many in each meeting, so we had to wait about 4 months to get in. Let me tell you that it was worth the wait. There have been moments over the past couple of months that we wondered if we should wait on making a decision until after this meeting or just go for it (did I mention I am also working on patience ;) ) But I am so glad we waited! The meeting went great, we got lots of questions answered and feel like they are another great organization. I may have mentioned this before, but I was so nervous when we started looking at adoption agencies because of the horror stories you hear on the news and hear-say. I am pleased to tell you all that there are lots of amazing adoption agencies out there, with amazing missions. We have really enjoyed learning about the agencies and hearing what they do to advocate for the birth mom and dad, adoptive parents, and baby.
Nebraska Children's Home is quite unique, they are the only agency in the country that does not charge for their adoptions or birth mother care and counseling. They are run strictly by donations. If we decided to go with them, we would pay legal fees and that's it!!! This is amazing to me, as most agencies we have talked to so far estimate anywhere from $12,000-35,000. I kept thinking of questions because I thought surely there has to be a catch, so far we haven't found on though. NCH is also different in that they offer very in-depth education regarding adoption, parenting, and counseling. Not only do they offer this to the adoptive parents, but they also offer it to the extended families. I also thought this was a great concept, obviously adoption doesn't just affect the parents. Even if we don't end up going through the process with them, we may use them for some education.
NCH, like all the other agencies we have met with, focus on open adoption (see earlier blog for details on what this is). This still makes me quite nervous, but I am coming around to the idea. I know that this could be a really cool relationship, depending on the birth mother. And knowing that we have a lot of control in just how open the relationship is.
NHC has finalized about 50 adoptions in the last year. Currently they have 85 adoptive families who are waiting for placement. And there were 18 couples at the meeting last night. What that means is that there are a lot more waiting families, than there are babies. The birth mom chooses an adoptive couple based on their profile, so it is not first-come-first-serve. So, the process could go really quickly or it could take years. But hopefully we'll look pretty good on paper ;).
So, now we have a HUGE decision to make. Matt and I talked on the way home and feel that our options to consider are:
1. Holt International--pursue an international adoption, not quite sure what country would be our first choice to adopt from.
2. NCH--pursue domestic adoption with the agency
3. NCH--pursue identified adoption, but use the agency to provide services to the birth mother and help us along the way.
The cool thing about NCH, is that we could pursue both 2 and 3 at the same time. One home study would cover both and they would help walk us through the process. The one question we thought of on the way home regarding the identified adoption is whether they'd we able to work with a birth mom outside of Nebraska.
I am not sure what decision we will make. We are praying that God will show us in a BIG way, what direction to pursue. Matt surprised the heck out of me on the way last night. One of our biggest struggles over this whole process is figuring out how we are going to financially going to make the adoption work. To me, we're talking about a baby-so how do you put a price on a baby. Matt is very much the realist and thinks long term how spending down our entire savings may not be a good idea :) Thank goodness we can balance each other out in this regard. But on the way home last night, Matt had a very interesting IQ point. He was impressed by the number of adoptive families they have and stated that you know all of the babies that need a home will get one here in the states. In reverse, there are many babies waiting for adoption in orphanages overseas and we could be their only hope. Oh decisions!!
Anyway, this is getting very long so I'll wrap it up. Thank you all so much for caring, loving, and praying for us. We are very blessed. ~megan
Nebraska Children's Home is quite unique, they are the only agency in the country that does not charge for their adoptions or birth mother care and counseling. They are run strictly by donations. If we decided to go with them, we would pay legal fees and that's it!!! This is amazing to me, as most agencies we have talked to so far estimate anywhere from $12,000-35,000. I kept thinking of questions because I thought surely there has to be a catch, so far we haven't found on though. NCH is also different in that they offer very in-depth education regarding adoption, parenting, and counseling. Not only do they offer this to the adoptive parents, but they also offer it to the extended families. I also thought this was a great concept, obviously adoption doesn't just affect the parents. Even if we don't end up going through the process with them, we may use them for some education.
NCH, like all the other agencies we have met with, focus on open adoption (see earlier blog for details on what this is). This still makes me quite nervous, but I am coming around to the idea. I know that this could be a really cool relationship, depending on the birth mother. And knowing that we have a lot of control in just how open the relationship is.
NHC has finalized about 50 adoptions in the last year. Currently they have 85 adoptive families who are waiting for placement. And there were 18 couples at the meeting last night. What that means is that there are a lot more waiting families, than there are babies. The birth mom chooses an adoptive couple based on their profile, so it is not first-come-first-serve. So, the process could go really quickly or it could take years. But hopefully we'll look pretty good on paper ;).
So, now we have a HUGE decision to make. Matt and I talked on the way home and feel that our options to consider are:
1. Holt International--pursue an international adoption, not quite sure what country would be our first choice to adopt from.
2. NCH--pursue domestic adoption with the agency
3. NCH--pursue identified adoption, but use the agency to provide services to the birth mother and help us along the way.
The cool thing about NCH, is that we could pursue both 2 and 3 at the same time. One home study would cover both and they would help walk us through the process. The one question we thought of on the way home regarding the identified adoption is whether they'd we able to work with a birth mom outside of Nebraska.
I am not sure what decision we will make. We are praying that God will show us in a BIG way, what direction to pursue. Matt surprised the heck out of me on the way last night. One of our biggest struggles over this whole process is figuring out how we are going to financially going to make the adoption work. To me, we're talking about a baby-so how do you put a price on a baby. Matt is very much the realist and thinks long term how spending down our entire savings may not be a good idea :) Thank goodness we can balance each other out in this regard. But on the way home last night, Matt had a very interesting IQ point. He was impressed by the number of adoptive families they have and stated that you know all of the babies that need a home will get one here in the states. In reverse, there are many babies waiting for adoption in orphanages overseas and we could be their only hope. Oh decisions!!
Anyway, this is getting very long so I'll wrap it up. Thank you all so much for caring, loving, and praying for us. We are very blessed. ~megan
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Please say a Prayer
Matt and I are meeting with Nebraska Children's Home tomorrow night. I am so excited and nervous. Nervous because we have been waiting SO long to get into a meeting (about 4 months) so that we can learn more about them and if we like what they have to say, start the adoption process. I have heard amazing things about Nebraska Children's Home and most people we know in Nebraska who have adopted domestically have gone through NCH. Please say a quick prayer for us :) Pray that the meeting would be informative and that we feel like we have our questions answered. Pray that we would let God lead and not our emotions. Thank you so much in advance. We'll let you know how it goes.
megan
megan
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace...
I meet with a couple of wonderful friends every Monday night for Bible study. We are currently working our way through "Living Beyond Yourself" by Beth Moore. Okay, first of all if you have never read a Beth Moore book~go out and get one; any of them, they're all amazing. I love the way she writes, because she doesn't take the time to beat around the bush...she gets right to the point. If you know me, you know I tend to get lost in the "fluff" of beating around the bush!
So far we have studied Love, Joy, and Peace (Galations 5:22-23). God has been working on my heart (over the past few years) about what real love "agape" means. Agape is so hard for me to wrap my head around. We are so bombarded with a worldly view of love, that it makes it difficult to understand the love that God teaches about. Agape always seeks the highest and best for another; agape always flows out of what is right and best; agape never exposes the faults of others. Agape means that God has called us to love the unloveable. God has shown me that agape is a divine love; one of which I cannot do on my own, it has to come from Him. It is a response to His heart rather than my own. Joy comes from an absolute assumption of His Grace...His unmerited favor towards me. Knowing that we will not be judged by our works, but that we are saved by Christ's work. Knowing that God will restore me. "If God has ordained difficulty for me, He has also ordained restoration for me."
So far we have studied Love, Joy, and Peace (Galations 5:22-23). God has been working on my heart (over the past few years) about what real love "agape" means. Agape is so hard for me to wrap my head around. We are so bombarded with a worldly view of love, that it makes it difficult to understand the love that God teaches about. Agape always seeks the highest and best for another; agape always flows out of what is right and best; agape never exposes the faults of others. Agape means that God has called us to love the unloveable. God has shown me that agape is a divine love; one of which I cannot do on my own, it has to come from Him. It is a response to His heart rather than my own. Joy comes from an absolute assumption of His Grace...His unmerited favor towards me. Knowing that we will not be judged by our works, but that we are saved by Christ's work. Knowing that God will restore me. "If God has ordained difficulty for me, He has also ordained restoration for me."
"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell. Then will I go to the alter of God, to God, my joy and my delight."
Psalm 43:3-4
I have learned a lot about peace during this study. Honestly, going into this study I thought that peace would be the "easiest" fruit to study. You'd think that my thinking that would tip me off by now :) We started this study in the book of Job. A book about a man who literally lost everything...his livelihood, his servants, his children, and his health. Job says it best, "What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness." (Job 3:25-26) Job had lost his peace...life is absolutely unbearable without peace. Peace means having the absence of fear and turmoil, no the absence of pain and grief. Peace comes knowing that God is in control, ALWAYS. Even when it doesn't seem like it. Peace comes when we choose to focus on Christ and not on our circumstances.
"trust in Him at all times, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8
It's Football Season!!
Sorry, it's been awhile since I've posted. We've been busy, busy!! It's amazing to think that Thanksgiving is only 3 weeks away...that is both exciting and "YIKES"!!
Last weekend was our last home KState football game of the year. *tear* KState football is a huge family tradition of ours. My entire family has season tickets and Matt's family often goes to games or at least tailgates as well. So even when we are having a rough season, we still have a great time just being together. I always look forward to football season because I know that I don't have to wait very long to see family again.
I LOVE my family!! I know that while growing up I frequently took them forgranted. I learn a little more everyday just how blessed I am to have them and to be loved by them. My parents and my second parents continually teach Matt and I by example, just what it takes to make a marriage work.
Talk to you soon. love, megan
Last weekend was our last home KState football game of the year. *tear* KState football is a huge family tradition of ours. My entire family has season tickets and Matt's family often goes to games or at least tailgates as well. So even when we are having a rough season, we still have a great time just being together. I always look forward to football season because I know that I don't have to wait very long to see family again.
Talk to you soon. love, megan
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
All About Us :-)
Matt and I have been working diligently on our profile. Our profile is what will "introduce" us to any potential birth mothers. It has proved to be a more difficult job than you would think...I mean how hard is it to tell the world how wonderful you are?!! ;-) I spent a lot of time researching profiles online just to even get started. After we had a VERY rough draft, we sent it out to family and some close friends to see what they could come up with. We are so blessed to have family and friends who are willing to spend so much time to help us. We owe my brother an extra huge Thank You! He used his expertise in communication and totally revamped our profile. He did such a great job, I was actually in tears with what he wrote about us. So now we are almost done with it. We are trying to figure out some technical, contact info and how to do it legally~kind of important.
Once we have it completely finished, our plan is to send it out to family and friends who are willing to take it to high school counselors, pastors, pregnancy crisis centers, etc in their area. This way we are not just sending out our profile blindly, and our friends and family can pass it to people they already know who may come into contact with a birth mother who may be considering adoption. And we have family members all over the country. We can't lose, right?? :) Everyone keeps telling us that finding a birth mother often happens through word of mouth, so that is what we are praying for.
I cannot wait for the profile to be completely finished! What a huge step forward that will be. And our meeting with Nebraska Children's Home is getting so close!
Have a blessed day, megan
Once we have it completely finished, our plan is to send it out to family and friends who are willing to take it to high school counselors, pastors, pregnancy crisis centers, etc in their area. This way we are not just sending out our profile blindly, and our friends and family can pass it to people they already know who may come into contact with a birth mother who may be considering adoption. And we have family members all over the country. We can't lose, right?? :) Everyone keeps telling us that finding a birth mother often happens through word of mouth, so that is what we are praying for.
I cannot wait for the profile to be completely finished! What a huge step forward that will be. And our meeting with Nebraska Children's Home is getting so close!
Have a blessed day, megan
Monday, October 25, 2010
Remembering Mexico
I had the most amazing opportunity placed in front of me to go to Amealco, Mexico with my original church family in Kansas. It is so fun for me to look back now and see how God clearly had His hands on this trip and directed His will in every way.
It all started when I was meeting with several friends and we were talking about what joy really means. We discovered that true joy comes when you listen and obey the desires God places in your heart~ those things that give you butterflies whenever you think about it. For me, I instantly knew what we were talking about. For several years, I have gotten those butterflies whenever I think of missions and in particular medical missions. The next several weeks were spent searching the internet for possible opportunities and not having a lot of luck. One night I was talking with my dad about my search and frustrations, when all of the sudden he said, "Well you could go with me and the church to Mexico this summer. Some of the doctors are planning to work medical clinics while there." Well alright then!! I bet God had a good laugh that day! I was searching everywhere I could think of to discover where He would have me and there it was~spoken from my dad. I love the way God orchestrates His will. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought of a better way~ missions in Mexico, with my original church family, AND alongside my dad!! I knew immediately that this was God's will for me.
The plan for the trip included 4 doctors and 2 nurses who would serve with medical missions and the rest of the team would help to build a house for missionaries who work a Christian camp around Amealco. Well, shortly before we left I found out that we were having trouble getting our medical visas. We all knew that we were still going, regardless of whether we ended up doing medical missions or not~ God had a bigger plan that needed attended to. As God would have it, we did not end up getting to do any medical missions while we were there. But not doing the medical missions allowed me to participate in other activies. The mornings were often spent around the camp helping to paint the missionaries home, helping to get their home ready to live in, and preparing food for our hard working team. The afternoons offered the privilege to go with one of the missionaries to bible studies, which were held in locals' houses. We were always welcomed right in and offered something to eat and drink. I was immediately overcome with their willingness to share and give even though they had very little to start with.
Through many experiences in Mexico, God revealed to me a little more of who He is. You see, through this journey, I have often had to remind myself that He is in control. Control is such a hard thing for me to give over to God. And something that I have to make a decision on daily and sometimes more than once a day. It's hard for me to understand why I think that my way would obviously be better, when He has shown me time and time again that His way is perfect. But even though I know that, I still struggle. In Mexico, God showed me that He is much bigger than I frequently give Him credit for. I have a tendency to want to hang on to my situations because I feel that they are far too big for God to handle. I put God in a box that I can understand. But He showed me that He is God in Omaha and He is still God in Mexico. It was so eye-opening for me to be worshipping and serving alongside Mexicans...serving the same God I serve in Omaha. God is big enough to cover the US and Mexico. He is able to understand the different languages of the world and He is certainly able to take care of me, my current family, and my future family. He spoke to me to say, "Megan, I am so much bigger than you think I am."
I could go on and on about my experiences in Mexico, but I will spare you from that :). God changed my heart while I was in Mexico this summer. It was such an amazing trip that I actually struggled coming back to my real-life. I had a friend refer to it as reverse culture shock. I look forward to the next time I get pulled out of my comfort zone.
Have a wonderful day!
It all started when I was meeting with several friends and we were talking about what joy really means. We discovered that true joy comes when you listen and obey the desires God places in your heart~ those things that give you butterflies whenever you think about it. For me, I instantly knew what we were talking about. For several years, I have gotten those butterflies whenever I think of missions and in particular medical missions. The next several weeks were spent searching the internet for possible opportunities and not having a lot of luck. One night I was talking with my dad about my search and frustrations, when all of the sudden he said, "Well you could go with me and the church to Mexico this summer. Some of the doctors are planning to work medical clinics while there." Well alright then!! I bet God had a good laugh that day! I was searching everywhere I could think of to discover where He would have me and there it was~spoken from my dad. I love the way God orchestrates His will. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought of a better way~ missions in Mexico, with my original church family, AND alongside my dad!! I knew immediately that this was God's will for me.
The plan for the trip included 4 doctors and 2 nurses who would serve with medical missions and the rest of the team would help to build a house for missionaries who work a Christian camp around Amealco. Well, shortly before we left I found out that we were having trouble getting our medical visas. We all knew that we were still going, regardless of whether we ended up doing medical missions or not~ God had a bigger plan that needed attended to. As God would have it, we did not end up getting to do any medical missions while we were there. But not doing the medical missions allowed me to participate in other activies. The mornings were often spent around the camp helping to paint the missionaries home, helping to get their home ready to live in, and preparing food for our hard working team. The afternoons offered the privilege to go with one of the missionaries to bible studies, which were held in locals' houses. We were always welcomed right in and offered something to eat and drink. I was immediately overcome with their willingness to share and give even though they had very little to start with.
Through many experiences in Mexico, God revealed to me a little more of who He is. You see, through this journey, I have often had to remind myself that He is in control. Control is such a hard thing for me to give over to God. And something that I have to make a decision on daily and sometimes more than once a day. It's hard for me to understand why I think that my way would obviously be better, when He has shown me time and time again that His way is perfect. But even though I know that, I still struggle. In Mexico, God showed me that He is much bigger than I frequently give Him credit for. I have a tendency to want to hang on to my situations because I feel that they are far too big for God to handle. I put God in a box that I can understand. But He showed me that He is God in Omaha and He is still God in Mexico. It was so eye-opening for me to be worshipping and serving alongside Mexicans...serving the same God I serve in Omaha. God is big enough to cover the US and Mexico. He is able to understand the different languages of the world and He is certainly able to take care of me, my current family, and my future family. He spoke to me to say, "Megan, I am so much bigger than you think I am."
I could go on and on about my experiences in Mexico, but I will spare you from that :). God changed my heart while I was in Mexico this summer. It was such an amazing trip that I actually struggled coming back to my real-life. I had a friend refer to it as reverse culture shock. I look forward to the next time I get pulled out of my comfort zone.
Have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Holt International
We have had the opportunity to learn about some amazing adoption agencies. Early in the process we were hearing horror stories about how agencies take advantage of you. And it scared me to death! I'm sure there are some out there, so you absolutely have to be careful, but I have changed my heart about adoption agencies. Every one that we have looked into, visited with, and interviewed have all had the baby (first and for most), the birth family, and the adoptive family's best interest at heart. I want to take a little time to share with you some of the agencies we are considering.
We had to opportunity to listen to a webinar hosted by Holt International in early September. We have several friends who have used this agency for adoption and are raving fans! They headquarter out of Oregon, but have offices all over the country. They work with about 15 oversea countries for adoptions. What impressed me most about Holt was the value and emphasis they place on family preservation. They first look to see if they can be helpful in any way to keep the family in the birth home. When that is not an option, they look towards adoption within the birth child's home country. As a last resort they choose to persue international adoption. I know you may be saying, why would that be the best thing?? Hearing that their mission is child and family preservation gave me faith that they are serious about what they are doing--it isn't a money thing. It really is all about what is best for the baby.
The webinar lasted about 2 hours and we were able to follow along on a powerpoint and ask questions as we went along. They reviewed some of the countries they work with and what each country's regulations and standards are. Most of the countries require several trips to the birth country for legal paperwork and you often get to meet your child at that time as well. :)
Initially, Matt and I were not interested in international adoption. I think it was more out of fear that then everyone knows they are not your "real" child. As time has gone on, God has really softened our hearts towards international adoption. The fact is, if people want to talk they are going to talk. And I have far better things to do than to worry about what everyone is thinking!! Matt and I are very adventurous and would love the opportunity to travel to another country so that we can instill a since of our child's culture into their's and our life.
Some of the reasons why we are hesitant to just jump in with international adoption include cost and often times the baby is at least 6 months old and often times closer to 2 years old. Again, not a reason to count international adoption out, but things we are considering.
We have also spent time interviewing Child Saving Institute and we have one more meeting set up with Nebraska Children's Home on Nov 13th.
It's exciting to be at this point and to be making some decisions, albeit, some seem very small but still decisions! Every little decision seems like a step in the right direction.
megan
We had to opportunity to listen to a webinar hosted by Holt International in early September. We have several friends who have used this agency for adoption and are raving fans! They headquarter out of Oregon, but have offices all over the country. They work with about 15 oversea countries for adoptions. What impressed me most about Holt was the value and emphasis they place on family preservation. They first look to see if they can be helpful in any way to keep the family in the birth home. When that is not an option, they look towards adoption within the birth child's home country. As a last resort they choose to persue international adoption. I know you may be saying, why would that be the best thing?? Hearing that their mission is child and family preservation gave me faith that they are serious about what they are doing--it isn't a money thing. It really is all about what is best for the baby.
The webinar lasted about 2 hours and we were able to follow along on a powerpoint and ask questions as we went along. They reviewed some of the countries they work with and what each country's regulations and standards are. Most of the countries require several trips to the birth country for legal paperwork and you often get to meet your child at that time as well. :)
Initially, Matt and I were not interested in international adoption. I think it was more out of fear that then everyone knows they are not your "real" child. As time has gone on, God has really softened our hearts towards international adoption. The fact is, if people want to talk they are going to talk. And I have far better things to do than to worry about what everyone is thinking!! Matt and I are very adventurous and would love the opportunity to travel to another country so that we can instill a since of our child's culture into their's and our life.
Some of the reasons why we are hesitant to just jump in with international adoption include cost and often times the baby is at least 6 months old and often times closer to 2 years old. Again, not a reason to count international adoption out, but things we are considering.
We have also spent time interviewing Child Saving Institute and we have one more meeting set up with Nebraska Children's Home on Nov 13th.
It's exciting to be at this point and to be making some decisions, albeit, some seem very small but still decisions! Every little decision seems like a step in the right direction.
megan
Monday, October 18, 2010
Some Adoption Basics
When it comes to adoption there are lots of decisions to make. Matt and I have had to educate ourselves to this whole new world using books, the internet, and asking people who have been through adoption before. We have learned a lot so far, but know that as the process continues we will keep learning. One of the first things we learned was how many different types of adoptions there are: domestic, international, open, closed, and identified.
Domestic and International are pretty self-explanitory as far as where the child would be coming from. International adoption requires an agency who can organize the adoption with the country that the child will be coming from. It you decide that international adoption is the route to take, then you have to decide which country you want to adopt from. You are required to pick one because every country has different rules and regulations that you have to follow as an adoptive parent. International adoption is very expensive, the most expensive option we have seen--often due to travel expenses to the country and regulatory expenses. International adoption often takes 2 years to finalize everything and usually the child is a little older by the time they come home to the United States. Depending on the country the child may be 6 months to 2 years old.
Domestic adoption can be done either through an agency or using identified adoption. Identified adoption occurs when the adoptive parents are able to locate a birth mother independent from an agency. This is often done through word of mouth and sending out profiles. If you choose to go through an agency, you have to choose one agency. Agencies do not like you using more than one agency at a time. Every agency has different expertise to offer and have different clientele who they work with. It is so important to go into agency interviews with your questions for them prepared. We were able to find sample questions in books, which has been very helpful. A timeline for domestic adoption can vary greatly. It can go very fast or take years. It all depends on if you have what the birth mother is looking for. Often times with domestic adoption, if you are wanting an infant you can receive one, it may just take a little more time. Pricing for domestic adoption depends a great deal as well, but so far it appears that domestic is less expensive than international. From what we have learned so far, it seems that identified adoption can be the most cost effective. With domestic adoption you also have to think about how "open" of an adoption you are willing to be apart of. Openess refers to how much contact the birth mother will have with the adoptive parents before and after birth. This can be just letters and pictures given to the agency to pass on to the birth mother (this is about as closed of an adoption that happens now days) or can be as open as having the birth mother involved with baby's life.
This is a very general breakdown of adoption options. Please let me know if you have any questions. I am by no means an expert on adoption, but this is what we understand so far through our journey.
Have a great day and I will talk to you soon friends.
megan
Domestic and International are pretty self-explanitory as far as where the child would be coming from. International adoption requires an agency who can organize the adoption with the country that the child will be coming from. It you decide that international adoption is the route to take, then you have to decide which country you want to adopt from. You are required to pick one because every country has different rules and regulations that you have to follow as an adoptive parent. International adoption is very expensive, the most expensive option we have seen--often due to travel expenses to the country and regulatory expenses. International adoption often takes 2 years to finalize everything and usually the child is a little older by the time they come home to the United States. Depending on the country the child may be 6 months to 2 years old.
Domestic adoption can be done either through an agency or using identified adoption. Identified adoption occurs when the adoptive parents are able to locate a birth mother independent from an agency. This is often done through word of mouth and sending out profiles. If you choose to go through an agency, you have to choose one agency. Agencies do not like you using more than one agency at a time. Every agency has different expertise to offer and have different clientele who they work with. It is so important to go into agency interviews with your questions for them prepared. We were able to find sample questions in books, which has been very helpful. A timeline for domestic adoption can vary greatly. It can go very fast or take years. It all depends on if you have what the birth mother is looking for. Often times with domestic adoption, if you are wanting an infant you can receive one, it may just take a little more time. Pricing for domestic adoption depends a great deal as well, but so far it appears that domestic is less expensive than international. From what we have learned so far, it seems that identified adoption can be the most cost effective. With domestic adoption you also have to think about how "open" of an adoption you are willing to be apart of. Openess refers to how much contact the birth mother will have with the adoptive parents before and after birth. This can be just letters and pictures given to the agency to pass on to the birth mother (this is about as closed of an adoption that happens now days) or can be as open as having the birth mother involved with baby's life.
This is a very general breakdown of adoption options. Please let me know if you have any questions. I am by no means an expert on adoption, but this is what we understand so far through our journey.
Have a great day and I will talk to you soon friends.
megan
Friday, October 15, 2010
Where to Begin...the Journey so Far
It's hard to know to where to begin our story. It has been a "journey", as Matt and I like to call it. I have put off starting a blog for so long, but I continue to have friends and family tell me that we have to share our story. I have thought about starting a blog several times, but always back down for fear of putting my heart out there for all the world to see. I'm supposed to be strong and just smile right?? But now God is laying it on my heart and I can't say no to Him :). I hope that someone out there, maybe going through the same struggles I am can get some benefit from reading my blog.
I have been married to the most amazing man for 8 years now. We were high school sweet hearts. Once we started dating, that was it; we knew we'd be together forever. We married young and spent the first 4-5 years of our marriage establishing our little family both emotionally and financially. We adopted a puppy into the family six years ago-Jack who we adore and who goes almost everywhere we go. I grew up with the same picture of a family that I assume all of us have as young girls: grow up, meet prince charming, get married, and have lots of babies. Well, my plan had worked out perfectly until the "have lots of babies" part.
Matt and I tried to conceive our own child for about a year. When things were not happening the way we expected, we eventually went to see a specialist. After a battery of tests, we were told that the chances of us having our own children were about 1 in a million. In all my life I never expected that to be the words that came out of the doctor's mouth. I figured they would give us some kind of "magic" pill that you always hear about and "our plan" would soon be back on track. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day when I thought all my dreams were ending, and really life itself. Soon after finding out the news, I called my mom-barely able to repeat the words we had heard. And then again having to tell Matt parents the news and then over time our friends.
I know this might sound crazy, but the next few months to a year were some of the toughest days I've ever faced and some of the toughest days we faced as a couple. We felt as though we had suffered a loss in our family, but Matt was always able to see the positive and look outside my little box of a plan. There were many days; however, when I didn't know why I should even get out of bed--if God was going to deny my need to be a mother, why did anything else matter? Matt and our family and friends did their best to encouage me and to help me see that this was not the end of the world. Many days I'd just smile at them, but inside I wanted to scream "what do you know?!!". I was so angry at God during this time--not to mention being angry at all the pregnant women out there that seemed to be going everywhere I went-- and still have days at times when I ask Him, "why us, why me?".
As time went on, Matt and I started to consider what other options we might have. In late 2009, we decided to see a fertility specialist who might be able to do some further testing and then offer us some hope. Again, the result of our tests were not good and so they sent us to more specialists and ran more tests. And after all that, the options they gave us involved lots of money, injections, and hormones. Not to mention the emotional toll of it all with no guarantees in the end for a baby. As Matt and I were going to doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment-each one suggesting options that did not appeal to us, we were forced to really listen to our hearts.
In the end, God laid adotion on our hearts as the only real option for us. We both felt a sense of peace about adoption when all other options left our hearts feeling uneasy. We both questioned why we would spend so much money, time, and emotions on bringing another child into the world when there are so many already who need and deserve a loving home. So our decision was made--adoption it is!!
So that is where you find us currently. We have done lots of research on adoption--what a big, unknown world it is! Thank God for so many friends and family members who have helped us with our research, offered knowledge about adoption and agencies, and for being amazingly supportive. When Matt and I first decided on adoption, we were happy with our choice but really wondered what our friends and family would think. They have been beyond amazing! We never received one questioning comment. I am tearing up now as I think about what amazing family and friends God has blessed us with. We know that we would not be in this place if we didn't have you guys backing us up. So thank you :)
As I look back over the journey Matt and I are currently on, I can see just how far God has taken us and I am overjoyed! I can't help but smile to see how we've grown and it's all because of Him. He is continually teaching me that He is in control, not me and that His perfect plan for my life will be laid out for me in His timing. Patience Megan!! As I look back, I can now see that many of the things that have happened over the last 5 years never could have happened if He would have followed my plan. Now I am not saying that this journey suddenly became easy. Nothing about it is easy. I still have days when I break down and have a good cry or days when I don't want to get out of bed. BUT I always do because He has proved to me that He is faithful time and time again; He has never left me in this situation or any other. And on a daily basis He reminds me that He is in control and that somewhere out there, there is a child just for Matt and I. And that has been His plan all along. I can't imagine just how beautiful and perfect for us that little boy or girl is. And they are so loved, even now.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to give you a hope and a future. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
megan
I have been married to the most amazing man for 8 years now. We were high school sweet hearts. Once we started dating, that was it; we knew we'd be together forever. We married young and spent the first 4-5 years of our marriage establishing our little family both emotionally and financially. We adopted a puppy into the family six years ago-Jack who we adore and who goes almost everywhere we go. I grew up with the same picture of a family that I assume all of us have as young girls: grow up, meet prince charming, get married, and have lots of babies. Well, my plan had worked out perfectly until the "have lots of babies" part.
Matt and I tried to conceive our own child for about a year. When things were not happening the way we expected, we eventually went to see a specialist. After a battery of tests, we were told that the chances of us having our own children were about 1 in a million. In all my life I never expected that to be the words that came out of the doctor's mouth. I figured they would give us some kind of "magic" pill that you always hear about and "our plan" would soon be back on track. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day when I thought all my dreams were ending, and really life itself. Soon after finding out the news, I called my mom-barely able to repeat the words we had heard. And then again having to tell Matt parents the news and then over time our friends.
I know this might sound crazy, but the next few months to a year were some of the toughest days I've ever faced and some of the toughest days we faced as a couple. We felt as though we had suffered a loss in our family, but Matt was always able to see the positive and look outside my little box of a plan. There were many days; however, when I didn't know why I should even get out of bed--if God was going to deny my need to be a mother, why did anything else matter? Matt and our family and friends did their best to encouage me and to help me see that this was not the end of the world. Many days I'd just smile at them, but inside I wanted to scream "what do you know?!!". I was so angry at God during this time--not to mention being angry at all the pregnant women out there that seemed to be going everywhere I went-- and still have days at times when I ask Him, "why us, why me?".
As time went on, Matt and I started to consider what other options we might have. In late 2009, we decided to see a fertility specialist who might be able to do some further testing and then offer us some hope. Again, the result of our tests were not good and so they sent us to more specialists and ran more tests. And after all that, the options they gave us involved lots of money, injections, and hormones. Not to mention the emotional toll of it all with no guarantees in the end for a baby. As Matt and I were going to doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment-each one suggesting options that did not appeal to us, we were forced to really listen to our hearts.
In the end, God laid adotion on our hearts as the only real option for us. We both felt a sense of peace about adoption when all other options left our hearts feeling uneasy. We both questioned why we would spend so much money, time, and emotions on bringing another child into the world when there are so many already who need and deserve a loving home. So our decision was made--adoption it is!!
So that is where you find us currently. We have done lots of research on adoption--what a big, unknown world it is! Thank God for so many friends and family members who have helped us with our research, offered knowledge about adoption and agencies, and for being amazingly supportive. When Matt and I first decided on adoption, we were happy with our choice but really wondered what our friends and family would think. They have been beyond amazing! We never received one questioning comment. I am tearing up now as I think about what amazing family and friends God has blessed us with. We know that we would not be in this place if we didn't have you guys backing us up. So thank you :)
As I look back over the journey Matt and I are currently on, I can see just how far God has taken us and I am overjoyed! I can't help but smile to see how we've grown and it's all because of Him. He is continually teaching me that He is in control, not me and that His perfect plan for my life will be laid out for me in His timing. Patience Megan!! As I look back, I can now see that many of the things that have happened over the last 5 years never could have happened if He would have followed my plan. Now I am not saying that this journey suddenly became easy. Nothing about it is easy. I still have days when I break down and have a good cry or days when I don't want to get out of bed. BUT I always do because He has proved to me that He is faithful time and time again; He has never left me in this situation or any other. And on a daily basis He reminds me that He is in control and that somewhere out there, there is a child just for Matt and I. And that has been His plan all along. I can't imagine just how beautiful and perfect for us that little boy or girl is. And they are so loved, even now.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to give you a hope and a future. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
megan
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