Parents In Progress

Matt and I spent the last two days attending adoption classes at Holt.  I have to admit that I was a little hesitant about these classes, but these last two days I have learned so much and am so glad we went.  It was so cool to be sitting in a room with 5 other couples, who are in the same boat we are, discussing topics honestly and opening.  I learned a lot about myself and also opened my eyes to what this process of adoption entails.  All of what we learned was incredibly insightful, but some of it was also really scary and made us question if we are ready for adopting a child from another race/culture.    


I was going into this process thinking that we would adopt, all of our dreams would come true, and then life would be "normal".  Now that is absolutely true, but what I have added to all that is that adoption is not a one time thing- it is an ongoing process throughout ours' and our child's life.  Think about it, we will be bringing home a black child into a very white world.  The stereotypes they will face, I know nothing about and honestly wasn't very aware before this week.  Matt and I have a lot of privileges just for being white and "American".  Our child will have a history and a previous life that they may always have questions about.  Just like Matt and I have suffered losses in our lives, our child will as well--although very different situations.  And just like I have questioned "why", my child will as well.  And just like how I have ups and downs in dealing with my history and have different situations that bring up painful feelings, my child will have situations throughout their life that may bring up those feelings as well.  During our classes, Celeste proposed lots of different situations, different questions our children may ask us, different thoughts/comments that any stranger may say and gave us a chance to role play answering them.  Our child will have questions, it's only natural and I hope that we have lots of answers to give them.  I am so thankful that through the Ethiopia program we will get a chance to meet their birth family and will hopefully get lots of answers for them at that time.  It was scary for Matt and I to watch videos of adopted children who still had questions or seemed angry that their birth parents "didn't want them".  But coming out of our classes, Matt and I feel much more prepared to handle the situations and conversations that may lie in front of us.  Not that we have everything figured out, but it feels better to have "everything on the table" and some discussions had. 


The classes have made this experience much more "real"--this is happening!!!  All that I can think about right now is how much I/we love our little boy or girl.  Our child may not have even been conceived yet or they may already be in an orphanage, but we are praying for them everyday--for them and for their family.  Baby- we love you and cannot wait to see your face and bring you home. 


I want to share more about the specifics of our classes, but I am exhausted right now.  I will share more in the next couple of days.


Love you friends, megan