Matt and I have been working diligently on our profile. Our profile is what will "introduce" us to any potential birth mothers. It has proved to be a more difficult job than you would think...I mean how hard is it to tell the world how wonderful you are?!! ;-) I spent a lot of time researching profiles online just to even get started. After we had a VERY rough draft, we sent it out to family and some close friends to see what they could come up with. We are so blessed to have family and friends who are willing to spend so much time to help us. We owe my brother an extra huge Thank You! He used his expertise in communication and totally revamped our profile. He did such a great job, I was actually in tears with what he wrote about us. So now we are almost done with it. We are trying to figure out some technical, contact info and how to do it legally~kind of important.
Once we have it completely finished, our plan is to send it out to family and friends who are willing to take it to high school counselors, pastors, pregnancy crisis centers, etc in their area. This way we are not just sending out our profile blindly, and our friends and family can pass it to people they already know who may come into contact with a birth mother who may be considering adoption. And we have family members all over the country. We can't lose, right?? :) Everyone keeps telling us that finding a birth mother often happens through word of mouth, so that is what we are praying for.
I cannot wait for the profile to be completely finished! What a huge step forward that will be. And our meeting with Nebraska Children's Home is getting so close!
Have a blessed day, megan
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Remembering Mexico
I had the most amazing opportunity placed in front of me to go to Amealco, Mexico with my original church family in Kansas. It is so fun for me to look back now and see how God clearly had His hands on this trip and directed His will in every way.
It all started when I was meeting with several friends and we were talking about what joy really means. We discovered that true joy comes when you listen and obey the desires God places in your heart~ those things that give you butterflies whenever you think about it. For me, I instantly knew what we were talking about. For several years, I have gotten those butterflies whenever I think of missions and in particular medical missions. The next several weeks were spent searching the internet for possible opportunities and not having a lot of luck. One night I was talking with my dad about my search and frustrations, when all of the sudden he said, "Well you could go with me and the church to Mexico this summer. Some of the doctors are planning to work medical clinics while there." Well alright then!! I bet God had a good laugh that day! I was searching everywhere I could think of to discover where He would have me and there it was~spoken from my dad. I love the way God orchestrates His will. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought of a better way~ missions in Mexico, with my original church family, AND alongside my dad!! I knew immediately that this was God's will for me.
The plan for the trip included 4 doctors and 2 nurses who would serve with medical missions and the rest of the team would help to build a house for missionaries who work a Christian camp around Amealco. Well, shortly before we left I found out that we were having trouble getting our medical visas. We all knew that we were still going, regardless of whether we ended up doing medical missions or not~ God had a bigger plan that needed attended to. As God would have it, we did not end up getting to do any medical missions while we were there. But not doing the medical missions allowed me to participate in other activies. The mornings were often spent around the camp helping to paint the missionaries home, helping to get their home ready to live in, and preparing food for our hard working team. The afternoons offered the privilege to go with one of the missionaries to bible studies, which were held in locals' houses. We were always welcomed right in and offered something to eat and drink. I was immediately overcome with their willingness to share and give even though they had very little to start with.
Through many experiences in Mexico, God revealed to me a little more of who He is. You see, through this journey, I have often had to remind myself that He is in control. Control is such a hard thing for me to give over to God. And something that I have to make a decision on daily and sometimes more than once a day. It's hard for me to understand why I think that my way would obviously be better, when He has shown me time and time again that His way is perfect. But even though I know that, I still struggle. In Mexico, God showed me that He is much bigger than I frequently give Him credit for. I have a tendency to want to hang on to my situations because I feel that they are far too big for God to handle. I put God in a box that I can understand. But He showed me that He is God in Omaha and He is still God in Mexico. It was so eye-opening for me to be worshipping and serving alongside Mexicans...serving the same God I serve in Omaha. God is big enough to cover the US and Mexico. He is able to understand the different languages of the world and He is certainly able to take care of me, my current family, and my future family. He spoke to me to say, "Megan, I am so much bigger than you think I am."
I could go on and on about my experiences in Mexico, but I will spare you from that :). God changed my heart while I was in Mexico this summer. It was such an amazing trip that I actually struggled coming back to my real-life. I had a friend refer to it as reverse culture shock. I look forward to the next time I get pulled out of my comfort zone.
Have a wonderful day!
It all started when I was meeting with several friends and we were talking about what joy really means. We discovered that true joy comes when you listen and obey the desires God places in your heart~ those things that give you butterflies whenever you think about it. For me, I instantly knew what we were talking about. For several years, I have gotten those butterflies whenever I think of missions and in particular medical missions. The next several weeks were spent searching the internet for possible opportunities and not having a lot of luck. One night I was talking with my dad about my search and frustrations, when all of the sudden he said, "Well you could go with me and the church to Mexico this summer. Some of the doctors are planning to work medical clinics while there." Well alright then!! I bet God had a good laugh that day! I was searching everywhere I could think of to discover where He would have me and there it was~spoken from my dad. I love the way God orchestrates His will. Never in my wildest dreams could I have thought of a better way~ missions in Mexico, with my original church family, AND alongside my dad!! I knew immediately that this was God's will for me.
The plan for the trip included 4 doctors and 2 nurses who would serve with medical missions and the rest of the team would help to build a house for missionaries who work a Christian camp around Amealco. Well, shortly before we left I found out that we were having trouble getting our medical visas. We all knew that we were still going, regardless of whether we ended up doing medical missions or not~ God had a bigger plan that needed attended to. As God would have it, we did not end up getting to do any medical missions while we were there. But not doing the medical missions allowed me to participate in other activies. The mornings were often spent around the camp helping to paint the missionaries home, helping to get their home ready to live in, and preparing food for our hard working team. The afternoons offered the privilege to go with one of the missionaries to bible studies, which were held in locals' houses. We were always welcomed right in and offered something to eat and drink. I was immediately overcome with their willingness to share and give even though they had very little to start with.
Through many experiences in Mexico, God revealed to me a little more of who He is. You see, through this journey, I have often had to remind myself that He is in control. Control is such a hard thing for me to give over to God. And something that I have to make a decision on daily and sometimes more than once a day. It's hard for me to understand why I think that my way would obviously be better, when He has shown me time and time again that His way is perfect. But even though I know that, I still struggle. In Mexico, God showed me that He is much bigger than I frequently give Him credit for. I have a tendency to want to hang on to my situations because I feel that they are far too big for God to handle. I put God in a box that I can understand. But He showed me that He is God in Omaha and He is still God in Mexico. It was so eye-opening for me to be worshipping and serving alongside Mexicans...serving the same God I serve in Omaha. God is big enough to cover the US and Mexico. He is able to understand the different languages of the world and He is certainly able to take care of me, my current family, and my future family. He spoke to me to say, "Megan, I am so much bigger than you think I am."
I could go on and on about my experiences in Mexico, but I will spare you from that :). God changed my heart while I was in Mexico this summer. It was such an amazing trip that I actually struggled coming back to my real-life. I had a friend refer to it as reverse culture shock. I look forward to the next time I get pulled out of my comfort zone.
Have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Holt International
We have had the opportunity to learn about some amazing adoption agencies. Early in the process we were hearing horror stories about how agencies take advantage of you. And it scared me to death! I'm sure there are some out there, so you absolutely have to be careful, but I have changed my heart about adoption agencies. Every one that we have looked into, visited with, and interviewed have all had the baby (first and for most), the birth family, and the adoptive family's best interest at heart. I want to take a little time to share with you some of the agencies we are considering.
We had to opportunity to listen to a webinar hosted by Holt International in early September. We have several friends who have used this agency for adoption and are raving fans! They headquarter out of Oregon, but have offices all over the country. They work with about 15 oversea countries for adoptions. What impressed me most about Holt was the value and emphasis they place on family preservation. They first look to see if they can be helpful in any way to keep the family in the birth home. When that is not an option, they look towards adoption within the birth child's home country. As a last resort they choose to persue international adoption. I know you may be saying, why would that be the best thing?? Hearing that their mission is child and family preservation gave me faith that they are serious about what they are doing--it isn't a money thing. It really is all about what is best for the baby.
The webinar lasted about 2 hours and we were able to follow along on a powerpoint and ask questions as we went along. They reviewed some of the countries they work with and what each country's regulations and standards are. Most of the countries require several trips to the birth country for legal paperwork and you often get to meet your child at that time as well. :)
Initially, Matt and I were not interested in international adoption. I think it was more out of fear that then everyone knows they are not your "real" child. As time has gone on, God has really softened our hearts towards international adoption. The fact is, if people want to talk they are going to talk. And I have far better things to do than to worry about what everyone is thinking!! Matt and I are very adventurous and would love the opportunity to travel to another country so that we can instill a since of our child's culture into their's and our life.
Some of the reasons why we are hesitant to just jump in with international adoption include cost and often times the baby is at least 6 months old and often times closer to 2 years old. Again, not a reason to count international adoption out, but things we are considering.
We have also spent time interviewing Child Saving Institute and we have one more meeting set up with Nebraska Children's Home on Nov 13th.
It's exciting to be at this point and to be making some decisions, albeit, some seem very small but still decisions! Every little decision seems like a step in the right direction.
megan
We had to opportunity to listen to a webinar hosted by Holt International in early September. We have several friends who have used this agency for adoption and are raving fans! They headquarter out of Oregon, but have offices all over the country. They work with about 15 oversea countries for adoptions. What impressed me most about Holt was the value and emphasis they place on family preservation. They first look to see if they can be helpful in any way to keep the family in the birth home. When that is not an option, they look towards adoption within the birth child's home country. As a last resort they choose to persue international adoption. I know you may be saying, why would that be the best thing?? Hearing that their mission is child and family preservation gave me faith that they are serious about what they are doing--it isn't a money thing. It really is all about what is best for the baby.
The webinar lasted about 2 hours and we were able to follow along on a powerpoint and ask questions as we went along. They reviewed some of the countries they work with and what each country's regulations and standards are. Most of the countries require several trips to the birth country for legal paperwork and you often get to meet your child at that time as well. :)
Initially, Matt and I were not interested in international adoption. I think it was more out of fear that then everyone knows they are not your "real" child. As time has gone on, God has really softened our hearts towards international adoption. The fact is, if people want to talk they are going to talk. And I have far better things to do than to worry about what everyone is thinking!! Matt and I are very adventurous and would love the opportunity to travel to another country so that we can instill a since of our child's culture into their's and our life.
Some of the reasons why we are hesitant to just jump in with international adoption include cost and often times the baby is at least 6 months old and often times closer to 2 years old. Again, not a reason to count international adoption out, but things we are considering.
We have also spent time interviewing Child Saving Institute and we have one more meeting set up with Nebraska Children's Home on Nov 13th.
It's exciting to be at this point and to be making some decisions, albeit, some seem very small but still decisions! Every little decision seems like a step in the right direction.
megan
Monday, October 18, 2010
Some Adoption Basics
When it comes to adoption there are lots of decisions to make. Matt and I have had to educate ourselves to this whole new world using books, the internet, and asking people who have been through adoption before. We have learned a lot so far, but know that as the process continues we will keep learning. One of the first things we learned was how many different types of adoptions there are: domestic, international, open, closed, and identified.
Domestic and International are pretty self-explanitory as far as where the child would be coming from. International adoption requires an agency who can organize the adoption with the country that the child will be coming from. It you decide that international adoption is the route to take, then you have to decide which country you want to adopt from. You are required to pick one because every country has different rules and regulations that you have to follow as an adoptive parent. International adoption is very expensive, the most expensive option we have seen--often due to travel expenses to the country and regulatory expenses. International adoption often takes 2 years to finalize everything and usually the child is a little older by the time they come home to the United States. Depending on the country the child may be 6 months to 2 years old.
Domestic adoption can be done either through an agency or using identified adoption. Identified adoption occurs when the adoptive parents are able to locate a birth mother independent from an agency. This is often done through word of mouth and sending out profiles. If you choose to go through an agency, you have to choose one agency. Agencies do not like you using more than one agency at a time. Every agency has different expertise to offer and have different clientele who they work with. It is so important to go into agency interviews with your questions for them prepared. We were able to find sample questions in books, which has been very helpful. A timeline for domestic adoption can vary greatly. It can go very fast or take years. It all depends on if you have what the birth mother is looking for. Often times with domestic adoption, if you are wanting an infant you can receive one, it may just take a little more time. Pricing for domestic adoption depends a great deal as well, but so far it appears that domestic is less expensive than international. From what we have learned so far, it seems that identified adoption can be the most cost effective. With domestic adoption you also have to think about how "open" of an adoption you are willing to be apart of. Openess refers to how much contact the birth mother will have with the adoptive parents before and after birth. This can be just letters and pictures given to the agency to pass on to the birth mother (this is about as closed of an adoption that happens now days) or can be as open as having the birth mother involved with baby's life.
This is a very general breakdown of adoption options. Please let me know if you have any questions. I am by no means an expert on adoption, but this is what we understand so far through our journey.
Have a great day and I will talk to you soon friends.
megan
Domestic and International are pretty self-explanitory as far as where the child would be coming from. International adoption requires an agency who can organize the adoption with the country that the child will be coming from. It you decide that international adoption is the route to take, then you have to decide which country you want to adopt from. You are required to pick one because every country has different rules and regulations that you have to follow as an adoptive parent. International adoption is very expensive, the most expensive option we have seen--often due to travel expenses to the country and regulatory expenses. International adoption often takes 2 years to finalize everything and usually the child is a little older by the time they come home to the United States. Depending on the country the child may be 6 months to 2 years old.
Domestic adoption can be done either through an agency or using identified adoption. Identified adoption occurs when the adoptive parents are able to locate a birth mother independent from an agency. This is often done through word of mouth and sending out profiles. If you choose to go through an agency, you have to choose one agency. Agencies do not like you using more than one agency at a time. Every agency has different expertise to offer and have different clientele who they work with. It is so important to go into agency interviews with your questions for them prepared. We were able to find sample questions in books, which has been very helpful. A timeline for domestic adoption can vary greatly. It can go very fast or take years. It all depends on if you have what the birth mother is looking for. Often times with domestic adoption, if you are wanting an infant you can receive one, it may just take a little more time. Pricing for domestic adoption depends a great deal as well, but so far it appears that domestic is less expensive than international. From what we have learned so far, it seems that identified adoption can be the most cost effective. With domestic adoption you also have to think about how "open" of an adoption you are willing to be apart of. Openess refers to how much contact the birth mother will have with the adoptive parents before and after birth. This can be just letters and pictures given to the agency to pass on to the birth mother (this is about as closed of an adoption that happens now days) or can be as open as having the birth mother involved with baby's life.
This is a very general breakdown of adoption options. Please let me know if you have any questions. I am by no means an expert on adoption, but this is what we understand so far through our journey.
Have a great day and I will talk to you soon friends.
megan
Friday, October 15, 2010
Where to Begin...the Journey so Far
It's hard to know to where to begin our story. It has been a "journey", as Matt and I like to call it. I have put off starting a blog for so long, but I continue to have friends and family tell me that we have to share our story. I have thought about starting a blog several times, but always back down for fear of putting my heart out there for all the world to see. I'm supposed to be strong and just smile right?? But now God is laying it on my heart and I can't say no to Him :). I hope that someone out there, maybe going through the same struggles I am can get some benefit from reading my blog.
I have been married to the most amazing man for 8 years now. We were high school sweet hearts. Once we started dating, that was it; we knew we'd be together forever. We married young and spent the first 4-5 years of our marriage establishing our little family both emotionally and financially. We adopted a puppy into the family six years ago-Jack who we adore and who goes almost everywhere we go. I grew up with the same picture of a family that I assume all of us have as young girls: grow up, meet prince charming, get married, and have lots of babies. Well, my plan had worked out perfectly until the "have lots of babies" part.
Matt and I tried to conceive our own child for about a year. When things were not happening the way we expected, we eventually went to see a specialist. After a battery of tests, we were told that the chances of us having our own children were about 1 in a million. In all my life I never expected that to be the words that came out of the doctor's mouth. I figured they would give us some kind of "magic" pill that you always hear about and "our plan" would soon be back on track. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day when I thought all my dreams were ending, and really life itself. Soon after finding out the news, I called my mom-barely able to repeat the words we had heard. And then again having to tell Matt parents the news and then over time our friends.
I know this might sound crazy, but the next few months to a year were some of the toughest days I've ever faced and some of the toughest days we faced as a couple. We felt as though we had suffered a loss in our family, but Matt was always able to see the positive and look outside my little box of a plan. There were many days; however, when I didn't know why I should even get out of bed--if God was going to deny my need to be a mother, why did anything else matter? Matt and our family and friends did their best to encouage me and to help me see that this was not the end of the world. Many days I'd just smile at them, but inside I wanted to scream "what do you know?!!". I was so angry at God during this time--not to mention being angry at all the pregnant women out there that seemed to be going everywhere I went-- and still have days at times when I ask Him, "why us, why me?".
As time went on, Matt and I started to consider what other options we might have. In late 2009, we decided to see a fertility specialist who might be able to do some further testing and then offer us some hope. Again, the result of our tests were not good and so they sent us to more specialists and ran more tests. And after all that, the options they gave us involved lots of money, injections, and hormones. Not to mention the emotional toll of it all with no guarantees in the end for a baby. As Matt and I were going to doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment-each one suggesting options that did not appeal to us, we were forced to really listen to our hearts.
In the end, God laid adotion on our hearts as the only real option for us. We both felt a sense of peace about adoption when all other options left our hearts feeling uneasy. We both questioned why we would spend so much money, time, and emotions on bringing another child into the world when there are so many already who need and deserve a loving home. So our decision was made--adoption it is!!
So that is where you find us currently. We have done lots of research on adoption--what a big, unknown world it is! Thank God for so many friends and family members who have helped us with our research, offered knowledge about adoption and agencies, and for being amazingly supportive. When Matt and I first decided on adoption, we were happy with our choice but really wondered what our friends and family would think. They have been beyond amazing! We never received one questioning comment. I am tearing up now as I think about what amazing family and friends God has blessed us with. We know that we would not be in this place if we didn't have you guys backing us up. So thank you :)
As I look back over the journey Matt and I are currently on, I can see just how far God has taken us and I am overjoyed! I can't help but smile to see how we've grown and it's all because of Him. He is continually teaching me that He is in control, not me and that His perfect plan for my life will be laid out for me in His timing. Patience Megan!! As I look back, I can now see that many of the things that have happened over the last 5 years never could have happened if He would have followed my plan. Now I am not saying that this journey suddenly became easy. Nothing about it is easy. I still have days when I break down and have a good cry or days when I don't want to get out of bed. BUT I always do because He has proved to me that He is faithful time and time again; He has never left me in this situation or any other. And on a daily basis He reminds me that He is in control and that somewhere out there, there is a child just for Matt and I. And that has been His plan all along. I can't imagine just how beautiful and perfect for us that little boy or girl is. And they are so loved, even now.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to give you a hope and a future. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
megan
I have been married to the most amazing man for 8 years now. We were high school sweet hearts. Once we started dating, that was it; we knew we'd be together forever. We married young and spent the first 4-5 years of our marriage establishing our little family both emotionally and financially. We adopted a puppy into the family six years ago-Jack who we adore and who goes almost everywhere we go. I grew up with the same picture of a family that I assume all of us have as young girls: grow up, meet prince charming, get married, and have lots of babies. Well, my plan had worked out perfectly until the "have lots of babies" part.
Matt and I tried to conceive our own child for about a year. When things were not happening the way we expected, we eventually went to see a specialist. After a battery of tests, we were told that the chances of us having our own children were about 1 in a million. In all my life I never expected that to be the words that came out of the doctor's mouth. I figured they would give us some kind of "magic" pill that you always hear about and "our plan" would soon be back on track. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day when I thought all my dreams were ending, and really life itself. Soon after finding out the news, I called my mom-barely able to repeat the words we had heard. And then again having to tell Matt parents the news and then over time our friends.
I know this might sound crazy, but the next few months to a year were some of the toughest days I've ever faced and some of the toughest days we faced as a couple. We felt as though we had suffered a loss in our family, but Matt was always able to see the positive and look outside my little box of a plan. There were many days; however, when I didn't know why I should even get out of bed--if God was going to deny my need to be a mother, why did anything else matter? Matt and our family and friends did their best to encouage me and to help me see that this was not the end of the world. Many days I'd just smile at them, but inside I wanted to scream "what do you know?!!". I was so angry at God during this time--not to mention being angry at all the pregnant women out there that seemed to be going everywhere I went-- and still have days at times when I ask Him, "why us, why me?".
As time went on, Matt and I started to consider what other options we might have. In late 2009, we decided to see a fertility specialist who might be able to do some further testing and then offer us some hope. Again, the result of our tests were not good and so they sent us to more specialists and ran more tests. And after all that, the options they gave us involved lots of money, injections, and hormones. Not to mention the emotional toll of it all with no guarantees in the end for a baby. As Matt and I were going to doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment-each one suggesting options that did not appeal to us, we were forced to really listen to our hearts.
In the end, God laid adotion on our hearts as the only real option for us. We both felt a sense of peace about adoption when all other options left our hearts feeling uneasy. We both questioned why we would spend so much money, time, and emotions on bringing another child into the world when there are so many already who need and deserve a loving home. So our decision was made--adoption it is!!
So that is where you find us currently. We have done lots of research on adoption--what a big, unknown world it is! Thank God for so many friends and family members who have helped us with our research, offered knowledge about adoption and agencies, and for being amazingly supportive. When Matt and I first decided on adoption, we were happy with our choice but really wondered what our friends and family would think. They have been beyond amazing! We never received one questioning comment. I am tearing up now as I think about what amazing family and friends God has blessed us with. We know that we would not be in this place if we didn't have you guys backing us up. So thank you :)
As I look back over the journey Matt and I are currently on, I can see just how far God has taken us and I am overjoyed! I can't help but smile to see how we've grown and it's all because of Him. He is continually teaching me that He is in control, not me and that His perfect plan for my life will be laid out for me in His timing. Patience Megan!! As I look back, I can now see that many of the things that have happened over the last 5 years never could have happened if He would have followed my plan. Now I am not saying that this journey suddenly became easy. Nothing about it is easy. I still have days when I break down and have a good cry or days when I don't want to get out of bed. BUT I always do because He has proved to me that He is faithful time and time again; He has never left me in this situation or any other. And on a daily basis He reminds me that He is in control and that somewhere out there, there is a child just for Matt and I. And that has been His plan all along. I can't imagine just how beautiful and perfect for us that little boy or girl is. And they are so loved, even now.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to give you a hope and a future. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
megan
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