Moving...settling into a new home...missing old friends...trying to make new friends... What a tough transition this has been for all of us; but especially for Ava. Matt and I knew that this was going to be hard but we had no idea. We didn't anticipate the evening cries with our girls who just missed their friends; we didn't anticipate the girls feeling isolated at school even though they continue to friends with their classmates.
Ella will bring up her Omaha friends often; sometimes with tears. She misses them no doubt. But I'm telling you, Ella could make 10 new friends on any given day...even on a trip to Target. What I think she misses; what all of us miss quite frankly, are those deeper relationships that take time to develop. Ella already has a new BFF: Lily in her class. But what Ella reports is the hardest for her is that when they go out to recess it's hard to find Lily or her other friends. The kindergarten classes have over 100 kids this year and a large playground; so I can only imagine what recess looks like!! Ella will also say that, "the big kids are blocking my view!" LOL! So apparently the kindergarteners don't always have the playground to themselves either. We talked through some strategies to help her touch base with her friends before they made it to the chaos of recess.
Ava on the other hand had struggled. Ava is very aware that she is new and feels like the odd man out. The neighborhood is tights and even if the kids weren't in the same kindergarten, most of grown up together. Ava has done a really good job of making friends in her classroom but it seems like she always feels a step behind. But we keep encouraging and praying for her and her days at school. We honestly thought she was doing really well after a couple weeks at school as she was happy and talking about new friends. But last week in the evening Ava was being super sassy at dinner; not herself. Matt and I kept trying to engage her in the conversation but it wasn't going anywhere. Matt and I kept looking at each other trying to figure out what was going on. Finally we pulled her aside to ask her what was going on. Ava replied, "they don't see me". Wow! Your 7 year using those words may be one of the most powerful things she's ever said to us...definitely took our breath away and broke our hearts all at the same time. As she proceeded to tell us that yes she's making friends but that she has no one to play with at recess. In her mind they already know what and who they're playing with at recess. Let me tell you that we all were shedding a few tears by this point. Ava did such a good job of explaining her feelings to us. After she talked for a while we began coming up with some ideas together to help her muster some courage to ask her new friends if she could play. By the end of the night we had our happy Ava back :). So the next morning as we were getting ready I asked her how she was feeling and where her courage level was to take on the day. She proudly responded that she had her "brave pants" for the day and she was ready!! And she did it!!! She asked several of her friends to play at recess and it sounds like they had a blast running around together. In the meantime, I emailed Ava's teacher to let her know and to also ask her to see if she could help (without Ava knowing we had reached out to her). Ava's teacher was so appreciative of the information and jumped right in to help. She said that was beginning to eat lunch in small groups with her kiddos just to help form relationships between the kiddos. Perfect! She invited Ava and 2 other girls to have lunch with her that Friday. She let us know that before she could even begin the conversation that the girls were already talking about how it makes their tummies hurt to ask their friends to help if they don't feel confident. Since last Friday Ava has played every recess with the girls she had lunch with. I'm so grateful! This will be a topic we continue to discuss through the year. We've talked some about remembering other kids who may be feeling this way and how important it is to invite them to play as well.
I seriously could not love these girls more. They are kind and have huge hearts...evidence we're doing something right as parents!
Ava facetiming with Claira
Playing with neighbor kids
