We are definitely still
adjusting as a family of four. We're having lots of really great
moments together along with more difficult ones. The difficult times
are made more difficult with the fact that we are in China in a hotel
and not at home and the fact that we are all tired. We are sleeping
well at night but I think the stress of travel and adding to our
family as well as being gone now for 15 days is catching up to all of
us. It is not only weighing on the girls' patience but also mine. I
am praying for extra patience on a daily basis.
Ella continues to come out
of her shell on a daily basis. She is ornery and likes to test the
waters. She is going to give us a run for our money. You can just
tell by the look on her face when she gets an ornery idea and is
ready to try it!! We keep joking that if Ella is quiet for a few
minutes we better come see what she is up to. It's obvious that she
was spoiled rotten and not told no often. Matt and I are trying to
balance building a bond with her but also setting some limits. We
can't have her throwing toys or coloring on all the furniture! I
think possibly that the last couple of days Matt and called her out
on more things than it should have because Ella has been hesitant to
go to him. She is coming easily to myself and Nai Nai. We have to
correct this a little. So we are correcting the balance of who is
calling her out when needed and Baba is getting to play a little more
with Ella than discipline. We love that Ella is forming a
relationship and trust with her grandparents, don't get me wrong on
this. But we don't want to have to start all over with who she is
trusting when Nai Nai goes home after we get back from China. Ella
first and foremost has to have a trust with Matt and I and then it
can go to other people. It's not an awful balance right now we just
have to correct it quickly. Ella is calling us Mama and Baba already
and giving lots of kisses, smiles, and laughs. Oh how those moments
mean so much and fill up my heart!
Ava continues to learn
what it means to be a big sister. This is a big job and one that Ava
was just thrown into. Most big sisters get the period of time when
their baby sibling is an infant. They still have to learn to share
time and attention but they are not also having to work with a little
brother or sister who doesn't want to share, is hitting and throwing
toys, or have to share their food with them. I feel for both my
girls and the big adjustment they are going through. Again I think
it will help to get home where they can have time together but also
will have room to get away from each other when needed. Ava is
struggling with Ella “always” getting held by the parent she
wants to be with. Or which hand of Matt and I's she wants to hold.
Bedtime is hard to get Ella asleep right now which is also a time
where Ava struggles because she is wanting snuggles as well. Bedtime
often turns into a tantrum because she's having a hard time not
getting both of our attentions right in the moment. Ava loves being
a helper to us with Ella and loves when she can teach her something
or make her laugh. We have quite the little mama and I love watching
that!
This sounds like such a
negative post and I don't mean it to be. But I want to be real about
the struggles and changes that are occurring. Adoption is a
beautiful thing; a piece of our family that we would not change. But
it is a difficult thing just as many things in life are. It will be
difficult for while but will get easier over time. But never through
the difficulties have we ever questioned whether this was the right
route for us...we know it is and know that our girls were meant for
us. We are family! We are beautiful!
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