Conversations with Ava

We have always talked openly with the girls about where they are from and the fact that they are adopted and unconditionally loved.  Ava frequently, proudly announces that she is from Shanghai, China.  And the other day she surprised us by also adding the Ella is from Wuhan, China.  

Matt and I have agreed since starting our journey of adoption that we would always be open and honest with our kids.  Giving them information of their story when appropriate and we know that they can handle what information is being shared.  What a big job of being a parent is!  God has entrusted us the amazing responsibility of being a parent and raising them to be fully aware of where they came from.  Their history is theirs and it's a big part of who they are today.  

Up until now, those conversations have always been pretty easy.  Last night however, I had my most difficult conversation with Ava so far.  In lieu of Ella's surgery, Ava asked if she had ever had surgery or was in the hospital.  I told her that yes, she had surgery when she was still in China...long before Mama and Baba knew her.  Ava repeated the information and then asked, "did you stay with me in the hospital too?"  My heart sank a little as I answered, "No sweetie, I didn't know about you yet.  But I prayed for you everyday.  One of the caregivers from the orphanage stayed with you.  Someone who loved you very much."  I could tell Ava was soaking in this information.  And then asked the same questions again.  I did my best to reassure her but I couldn't help but feel sad.  There are some things that I wish I could change from their past.  But then I remind myself how amazing and relentless my girls are.  And some of what makes them so amazing is where and what they came from.   

Heavenly Father, please guide conversations with my girls.  I pray that they will ask openly any questions they have.  I pray that You will guide my answers and give me wisdom on how to answer those questions.  I pray that no matter what the answer; Ava and Ella will always know how much they are loved by both Mama and Baba as well as their biological families, caregivers, friends and family.