Announcement!!!

It is time to share some news; Matt and I have made a big decision and we are changing the direction of our adoption.  In all honesty, God has opened a door along this journey that we didn't expect and we are stepping out in faith that He will continue to see it through and lead us to our child.  We have decided to continue this journey of bringing home our child from...China!!!

So I know that a lot of you are probably wondering how in the heck we went from Ethiopia to China.  That's a big difference!  Let me tell you, it was not easy to make this decision.  We have had Ethiopia in our hearts for a long time now and it was really hard to trust that this was a door that God was opening for us.  As I said in our previous post, we have been spending a lot time with our social worker discussing the recent news out of Ethiopia and while visiting with her, the option of China came up.  In many ways, what is happening in China seems too good to be turn.  This was one of my big hang ups.  If it seems too good to be true, it must be--this is what I normally think and had to fight with myself about while trying to decipher the correct move to make.  But in the end Matt and I really felt God calling us to step out of our comfort zone and trust Him.  Trust that He was continuing to guide us on this journey and that He is great enough to offer us a door that seems too good to be true, but it just might be that good.  I can't wait to see what He has in store during the next year.

Matt and I are open to a little boy or girl, always have been.  We decided when we started on this journey that we wouldn't pick the sex of our child if we were pregnant and we don't want that kind of control regarding our child through adoption either.  The fact that we are open to having a boy moves us up the list in a big way for the China program.  Unfortunately, most people who are waiting for a child from China want a little girl and that leaves a lot of little boys who do not have a family to come home to.  This is the main reason Matt and I felt the call to switch to China.  The wait for a little boy in China is suspected to be a year at this time.  Once we are matched with our child we wait about 6 months before traveling to China.  The travel to China is also different.  We only have to make one trip and we bring our child home that same trip!!  What a relief that we don't have to leave our child in the country before we can bring them home!

We are so excited with our decision, but cautiously excited.  It's hard to not put up walls around your heart to try to protect it after so many disappointments.  We are scared to death of more disappointments and heat breaks.  I am still learning to trust and to give EVERYTHING to God.  I can see in the past where I have tried to just keep a thumb of control on our adoption.  I want to give this entire journey over to Him.  I want to trust that He has us all firmly in His hands.  I am learning to do this.  It is a daily decision for me to let God have full control.  I trust that He has not forsaken us and will not leave us here.  He will see this journey through.  What an amazing God we serve.  A God who cares about us so much that He continues to guide and open doors that "seem too good to be true".  That is true love!!!  

In other news, my mom had a "suspicious mammogram" that lead to a specialized MRI test to further look at the suspicious area.  Today she saw her cancer doctor and she is still cancer free after two years!!!!  I am so relieved and happy to share this news.  I so want her to be around for many, many more years.  I want her to meet her grandchild(ren).  She has been a constant support and encouragement to me and she has walked this journey beside us.  I want her to be able to reap the rewards at the end of this journey as much I want it for myself.  She will be a fantastic grandma and I want her to be healthy and able to enjoy being a grandma!!

I am feeling very thankful after a long few months.  Thank you friends and family for your continued prayers and support.  Love you, megan

        

It's Time to Be Honest

I know I promised to be a better blogger the last time I posted and I obviously have not lived up to that.  Honestly, it's in part because I haven't known how to express my feelings over the last couple of months.  They have been some of the hardest we've endured since deciding to pursue international adoption.  None of the news coming out of Ethiopia is good or optimistic.  Time lines are being lengthened significantly and in the most recent update we learned that no infants have been adopted out of Ethiopia for some time.  Meaning that the little progress that is being made towards adoptions is with older children and for us that means that we are not moving up the list at all.  About a month ago, I talked with the Holt Ethiopia office in Oregon and at that time we learned that we are sitting at approximately 80 out of 120 waiting families--talk about disheartening.  So needless to say, Matt and I have felt very helpless lately; questioning what is going on and why; and recently wondering what options we have.

First of all let me try to explain what we know about what is happening in Ethiopia to delay things so much.  It all started last summer when the Ministry of Women and Child fired their director.  Shortly after that adoptions stopped completely.  They discovered that a lot of short cuts were being taken with adoptions including not always notifying appropriate family members of an upcoming adoption.  They have since added more processes to ensure that appropriate people are notified as well as other bureaucracy that I don't totally understand.  It seems like the changes they are now including are for the better, but unfortunately it is slowing things down a lot and waiting children and waiting families are caught in the middle.

This last weekend, Matt and I were talking about the adoption and feeling discouraged-unable to answer each other's questions or calm each others' fears.  We decided that enough was enough; it was time to meet with our social worker, Bonnie to find out if she knew more of what was happening in Ethiopia and to get some answers on what our options are.  We met with her this morning and I'm happy to report that we feel more optimistic than we have for a while.  Not because they were able to give us better news regarding Ethiopia, but because we do have options.  I'm not going to write about our options now, sorry.  Matt and I are seeking the advice of our families and praying about what decision to make and which direction to go.  I am going to ask you all for your prayers again as well.  We have a big, important decision to make and it's scary.  We want to make sure that we are making a wise decision and not making a decision based on our current emotions.  So please pray with us as we seek wisdom.  Pray for our child wherever he/she may be.  Pray for patience.  Thank you friends.  

Not the News We Were Hoping For

Last Friday we received an update email from Ethiopia.  We never know what the emails we say, as the circumstances change all the time in Ethiopia regarding adoptions.  But this email hit hard.  When we started this process last February the average time frame for referral (matching us with our child) was 9-12 months, time for travel after referral about a month, and time for second travel 1-2 months after that.  According to the email we received last Friday, the referral time is now taking 11-14 months, time for travel after referral about 4 months, and then another months for the second travel to bring out child home.  Are you kidding me??  This has been some very difficult information to process through.  Thankfully, I have an amazing husband who has let me shed lots of tears and numerous friends and family who have lent and ear and hug.  The hardest part is to think that our child may not be coming home in 2012, when we were so sure that they would be.  We are trying to remind ourselves that the information out of Ethiopia does change all the time and that the timing is still in God's hands.  He hasn't dropped us or our child.  We're still safely wrapped up.  Sometimes, that much easier to hear than others.  Each day we have to wake and decide if we're going to be angry at God, or keep persevering.  I've concluded more days than not, that there's no strength in being angry.  

Please pray for us friends.  For us and for our child.  We can't wait for that day when we are finally together.    

Welcome Home Mongo

Ok, I may be the worst blogger EVER!!!  I can't believe how long it's been since I've blogged.

This month makes our countdown officially 4 months on the Ethiopia waiting list.  At times it seems like it hasgone fast, and at many other times it seems like time is standing still!!  We can't wait for our child to come home. I had a friend ask me if we thought our child will be home for Christmas next year...Oh my, I hope so!!!  I don't know how much longer I can wait.  :)  Matt and I have started collecting books and toys and such.  But plan to start getting some bigger purchase items after the holidays.

For Christmas, Baby Fuller received "I'll Love You Forever" from his/her Fuller grandparents with a super sweet note waiting for him or her when they come home.  Grandma Fuller also does a lot of beautiful embroidery work.  Both Kaden and Cooper have a blanket with their names embroidered on it from them.  Well, Baby Fuller received the same blanket for Christmas and once we know who our child is, Grandma will get their blanket embroidered so it's ready for them to come home too.  I can't wait!

We made a super quick trip home this weekend for Christmas.  We spent Saturday with my family, but unfortunately my brother was sick and unable to make it.  However my Grandparents, who I haven't seen in a long time were able to make the trip to spend Christmas with us.  It was so great to see them and catch up.  We spent the day cooking, playing games, and staying up way too late playing pitch.  We went to church for Christmas Eve service and I was able to catch up with lots of friends~SO FUN!!  For Christmas this year, my family decided not to exchange gifts.  Instead we pooled our money and we're all going to the Cotton Bowl in January!!  We can't wait.  We'll get to spend 3 days together and hopefully get to see some more family while we're in Dallas.  And of course, we'll be cheering really loudly for the cats so look for us on TV!!

We spent Sunday with the Fullers.  Christmas is definitely fun for us adults, but I have to say that my favorite part is watching my nephews rip through their presents!!  Their present highlights for Christmas were play drills, which actually work from grandma and grandpa and their gift from their aunt and uncle~of course.  We found them what looks like a miniature motorcycle.  The boys definitely will need to work on their balance a little, but they had the hang of them by the end of the day.  Again, Matt and I were so spoiled for Christmas, but we love it.  :)  A favorite included Matt's cleaned, restuffed, and revitalized Mongo from his mom.  Mongo is a white monkey and was one of Matt's favorite stuffed animals growing up.  Well, at some point it became a favorite buddy to the Fuller's dog, Casey.  Unfortunately Casey passed away a few years ago, but Kim wanted to give Mongo back to his original owner.  I think a highlight for the Fuller Christmas was watching Matt unwrap his beloved Mongo!  When we got home I asked Matt where he wanted to put Mongo.  So Mongo is now waiting in Baby's room anxiously awaiting the arrival of our new family member.  Seriously though, I wouldn't be surprised if Mongo makes the trip to Ethiopia with us.  Welcome back to the family, Mongo :)      

Ok, so I promise that I will TRY to be a better blogger but no guarantees!  Just know that we are constantly praying for our sweet child and in awe to know that they are probably already alive and in an orphanage right now.  What a wild thought!!  Jesus, please be protecting our family in this moment even though they are half a world away.  My prayer is that we will meet soon, but trusting in God's timing.  I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be the best year yet :)  Love you friends

Preparing for Baby :)

Matt and I have spent a lot of time on the road lately and it seems that the conversation often leads to baby.  There is a lot to think about!!!  One of the most fun topics is baby names.  We're pretty sure we've decided on a girl name, but we are struggling more trying to agree on a boy's name.  I happen to think that the meaning of a person's name is just as important as liking the name itself.  However, I am struggling because some of the names that are at the top of our list come up as "origin not known" when researched.  I may have to get over this meaning stuff OR we may have to keep searching!!!  At least it's a fun time spender :)

We've also started talking about all the stuff we'll need.  I would love to be able to go ahead and start looking for furniture and some of those bigger purchases, but we don't know how old our child will be when they come home yet.  So that makes shopping a little bit harder.  For those of you who know me though...that fact hasn't completely stopped me from shopping ;)  Shocking, I know!!!

I do have aspirations to make our baby's bedding--we'll see what happens.  I did pick up my first project the other day.  It is more of a patched blanket.  I can't wait to start on it!  If this project goes well, then I'll move on to the bedding project.    

Fall is Coming

Wow, it's been awhile!! Where did the summer go??!! We have been busy. Most recently, we went on vacation to Arches, Bryce Canyon, and Zion National Parks. This was an extra special vacation because my brother was able to go with us. Our vacations almost always end up being physically intense and this one was no different. In total we hiked almost 60 miles, gaining at least 5,000 feet in elevation, and some of the hiking was in a river. Hard work, but oh so much fun!!! There's something very renewing about being able to get outside and see some beautiful country. We were all physically exhausted by the end but ready to go back to the real world with a renewed sense of mind.

One of my favorite parts of the trip was hiking the Zion Narrows. Hiking the Narrows was definitely on my Bucket List~now I can check that off. Basically, you hike up river in Zion Canyon. When you start out, the canyon is wider and you can find dry land to walk on. But soon, the canyon narrows forcing you to fight the currents to get upstream. In most places you and walking in about a couple feet of water, but there are places where you have to swim!!! It was SO much fun! A little intimidating though to look up as the canyon narrows and know that there is no way out except to keep going. We guess that we only spent about 6 miles in the canyon, but you can start from the top of the canyon and work all the way down~about 18 miles. Maybe next time! 

We went to our first K-State football game yesterday, so I guess that means fall is officially in the air!! We LOVE football season. Not only because we're diehard fans, but also because it means we get lots of family time in. It's so much easier to say goodbye when you know you'll see them all again in a couple of weeks. This weekend we got to see Matt's sister and her family. I had not seen my nephew Cooper for several months and boy is he growing!! I can't believe how much bigger he is, but the most fun thing is to see his personality coming out and to hear him talk. Not always can I make out the words yet, but he knows what he's saying!

It's so fun to think that a year from now *hopefully* we'll be able to share all of this with our own child. I can't wait to go on vacations as a family of four (Jack included, of course). I can't wait to initiate our child as a little Wildcat and take them to their first K-State football games. I can't wait to see them play with their cousins and get loved on by grandparents and aunts and uncles. 

Thank you for continuing to pray for us as we prepare to meet our child.  In the past, we've been so focused on getting paperwork around and doing all the work we have had to do to get the process going that I we haven't been able to worry a lot about how we are actually going to parent when our child is home!!  I know we will figure this out together, but boy can that thought be intimidating.   Thank goodness God has placed lots of good examples of parents around us to watch and learn from.   

Blessings and Hugs, megan 

Officially on the Waiting List!

It's official...we are now on the waiting list!!  It would have been a little sooner, but I missed the state certification requirement on two of our dossier documents.  So, I had to wait for Holt to send them back to us and then send them in to the state for certification.  Luckily that did not take very long.  So right now, our paperwork is on it's way to Ethiopia where they will review it and then match us with a child.  Unfortunately, they are saying that matching us with a child will most likely be 9-12 months from now and we could travel as soon as 2 weeks after we are matched.  But God is in control of our future and the time it will take until we meet our child.  Right now, we are anxiously waiting and I am praying for patience and a calm heart.  And I have to tell you, I am getting tired of waiting!!!  ;)  But again, God is in control and His plan is perfect for us.  I just have to keep telling myself that.  This is another big step closer to finally being able to hold our child!!!